Sex Stories: Real People Talking About Sex, Love & Relationships

319 | Couples Whisperer, Non-Monogamy Guide & Sex Therapist: Dr Emma Smith’s Sex Stories

·1 hr 25 min·5 clips

A former Marine Corps sexual assault prevention trainer, now a sex therapist, reveals how she turned her shame from a nine to a two.

The episode begins with host Luna Robbie introducing Dr. Emma Smith, detailing her identity as a cis-presenting agender bisexual pansexual femme raised Catholic. Dr. Smith rates her current sexual shame at a two, down from a nine, attributing the change to leaving home, exposure to diverse perspectives, and studying philosophy in college. She came out in her 30s, first to her ex-husband, a Marine who reacted supportively, and later to her family, with her mother humorously adjusting. Dr. Smith defines sexy as authenticity and power, and describes her current relationship as committed yet allowing expansion, with communication as a key skill. She explains the concepts of positive and negative sentiment override, where accumulated trust skews interpretation of neutral events. For difficult conversations, she advises timeouts with a 20-minute minimum for nervous system regulation and a 24-hour maximum to avoid avoidance. Dr. Smith works as a sex therapist split between trauma recovery and couples therapy, noting sex often acts as a 'canary in the coal mine' for relationship issues. She conducts relationship agreement intensives for couples opening up. Personally, she recalls early sexual experiences as transactional and disembodied, influenced by purity culture and confessing to a priest in college. After divorcing due to differing desires about children, she worked for the Marine Corps, teaching consent by focusing on Marines' own bodily autonomy. Her path to sex therapy stemmed from wanting to help trauma survivors move beyond neutral to embodied pleasure, addressing gaps in sex education like responsive versus spontaneous desire.

As heard by us

A candid episode on sexual safety, trauma recovery, and the habits that help intimacy feel more trusting.

The episode moves from everyday eroticism into the more practical work of safety, disclosure, trauma recovery, and relationship repair. Its clearest stretch centers on STI conversations, using a simple question about what partners need to know to make honesty feel possible…

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Why you'd press play

Press play for a candid Sex Stories conversation where STI disclosure, intimacy, and sexual trauma recovery are treated as practical, low-drama care.

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