Sex And Intimacy After Trauma

·34 min·3 clips

Dr. Justin Lehmiller reveals how survivors of sexual trauma can rediscover pleasure and intimacy, not just survive.

The episode begins with host Dr. Justin Lehmiller introducing the topic of sex and intimacy after sexual trauma, challenging the narrative that survivors are permanently broken. He welcomes guest Katie Simon, a sexuality journalist and author of 'Tell Me What You Like,' which explores how survivors reclaim their sexuality. Simon shares that her book was inspired by her own experience of sexual assault and interviews with survivors who unanimously asked for more real stories rather than expert advice. She explains that the book focuses on diverse survivor narratives to provide relatability and avoid one-size-fits-all solutions. Lehmiller and Simon discuss how older books on the topic often prescribed healing within monogamous relationships, which didn't reflect many survivors' realities. They highlight the concept of post-traumatic growth, where survivors can find meaning and even improve their sex lives after trauma. Simon notes that this includes exploring sexuality in new ways, such as through BDSM or queer identification, though she emphasizes that not all survivors experience this. The conversation turns to the role of professionals, with Simon revealing that many therapists lack specific training on sex after assault, leading survivors to rely on self-exploration. Lehmiller adds that medical and therapy programs often provide minimal sex education, creating systemic barriers. Simon shares practical insights from survivors, such as using media like 'Surviving R. Kelly' to disclose trauma or focusing on actionable needs in conversations. They discuss the importance of community-based healing and resources for support. The episode concludes with Simon directing listeners to her book and social media, and Lehmiller encouraging subscriptions to the podcast.

As heard by us

A grounded conversation about trauma recovery, embodied consent, and rebuilding room for pleasure.

Sex And Intimacy After Trauma pushes back on the fear that sexual trauma has to end pleasure, desire, or the chance of trusting relationships. Dr. Justin A.

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Why you'd press play

You can press play when you want a clearer map for intimacy after sexual trauma.

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