Retro Mystery Broadcasts · solgoodmedia.com

Quiet Please - A Red and White Guideon

March 27, 2026·30 min·2 clips

Noah Wellman is haunted by losing a cavalry guideon that bars him from Fiddler's Green.

The episode opens with the standard 'Quiet Please' introduction, identifying the show as written and directed by Wyllis Cooper and featuring Ernest. The narrator establishes immediately that he is dealing with a replacement guidon — a company pennant — that has all the right engravings but is cold and is not the original. The central premise emerges: the narrator, identified by others as Noah Wellman, lost the original guidon belonging to eight troops. This loss has consequences in the mythical cavalry afterlife called Fiddler's Green. Wellman visits Fiddler's Green once or twice a year but is called out immediately as the man who lost the guidon, making him unable to enjoy the free whiskey at the bar. He tries to explain the weight of this shame through analogy: it is as hard to imagine a cavalryman with a guidon-loss as to imagine one without a horse, or a band without its standard. The band, he notes, will not lead him into Fiddler's Green. He describes a moment when, as he is leaving, someone stops him. They exchange a few words about the band still playing 'Gary Owen' in the old outfit, and the stranger slips him a pint of something. Wellman takes it, but drinking it only makes the longing worse rather than easing it. He then shifts to exposition, noting that a guidon was once exclusively a cavalry item, and begins to tell the listener about a particular guidon — described as red and white — before the available transcript ends. The tone throughout is melancholic and slightly dreamlike, consistent with the 'Quiet Please' style of radio drama that blends ordinary character voices with uncanny or supernatural settings.

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