Relationships: A Do Better Podcast · dobetterjonathan

Are Maintaining Relationships Worth the Effort? Breaking Down Why Relationships Matter [Ep.7]

·1 hr 15 min·5 clips

Social isolation can affect mortality more than smoking 15 cigarettes a day in the studies he cites.

1. Relationships: A Do Better Podcast asks why relationships matter in a highly individualized Western society. 2. Jonathan, known as Do Better Jonathan, hosts with Justin, a therapist who has spent over a decade helping couples, and guest Dr. Cale Monk joins from the University of Missouri. 3. The episode asks whether maintaining relationships is worth the effort and uses relationship science to answer that question. 4. Monk says he grew up in a small Kansas town of about 180 people and graduated with 40 classmates. 5. He says watching some friends have stable relationships while others argued pushed him toward family science and relationship research. 6. He studied at Kansas State University, then earned a PhD at the University of Illinois in human development and family science. 7. Monk says he initially wanted to work with adolescents, but middle school therapy made him realize he preferred adult couples. 8. He says relationship issues often show up underneath anxiety and depression when he sees individuals or couples in therapy. 9. Monk and Justin frame the episode around the question of why relationships still matter when people increasingly do things alone. 10. He says one reason is that family and close friends are often what give life meaning. 11. Monk cites meta-analyses showing social isolation can affect mortality more than smoking 15 cigarettes a day. 12. He says loneliness is the gap between the relationships people want and the relationships they actually have. 13. He distinguishes quantity from quality and says people can be surrounded by others while still feeling lonely. 14. Monk says married people have often done better on average in older studies, but individual outcomes vary widely. 15. He says low-quality marriages can be worse for well-being than being single because partners withdraw from other social ties. 16. He describes an Ohio State University study where couples received a small lesion and distressed marriages healed 60% more slowly. 17. Monk says relationship quality is tied to feeling cared for, trusting that a partner has your back, and believing the relationship is beneficial. 18. He and the hosts keep the tone conversational, using examples about Royals baseball, socks on the floor, and dishes to explain the research. 19. People interested in marriage, mental health, and relationship maintenance would likely benefit from this episode. 20. Listeners looking for celebrity stories or fast relationship advice may skip it.

As heard by us

A clear case for relationships as a source of meaning, support, and everyday balance.

The episode returns to a familiar question: why relationships still matter in an increasingly individualistic world. Jonathan, Justin, and Dr. Cale Monk keep the focus on research while staying close to family, close friends, and the work of staying connected.

Read the full review in PlayNext →

Why you'd press play

You want a clearer reason relationships are worth the work.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

Listen to the show on

Apple Podcasts Spotify

Play clips from this episode More from Relationships: A Do Better Podcast