Fastest Tube Crawler // Public Coke Freestyle Machine [33]

·1 hr 7 min·5 clips

Jeff declares he's done with bagels, calling them a '7 out of 10 food,' sparking immediate outrage from the co-hosts.

The episode opens with Jeff declaring he's done with bagels, calling them a '7 out of 10 food,' which sparks immediate disagreement from the co-hosts. They briefly touch on Bill Belichick's move to college football before pivoting to a hypothetical tube-crawling competition, where Nick boasts he could navigate a 10-foot tube in under two seconds. Gavin shares a personal medical story about having a balloon expanded in his esophagus to fix a stricture, leading to jokes about deep-throating and fitting hot dogs in nostrils. The group discusses the Indiana Jones game, with Jeff enthusiastically describing a physics-based moment where he punched a Nazi so hard it cracked a table. Conversation then turns to installing public Coke Freestyle machines, with Gavin advocating for communal soda wells and others highlighting practical issues like zebra mussels in Austin's water. Jeff reflects on feeling disconnected from neighbors after moving, prompting a discussion on community involvement. They debate releasing a gameplay video before the year ends, with Nick skeptical about timelines. The hosts explore the spelling and pronunciation of 'sarsaparilla,' leading to tangents on marsupials and a 'bats not bats' draft that includes Bruce Wayne and vampires. The episode wraps with a bizarre segment where Jeff muses on historical masturbation methods, inspired by Howard Stern's comments about girdle ads and castle tapestries.

As heard by us

A Christmas-tagged Regulation episode turns bagels, sarsaparilla, and vampire ticks into easy comic drift.

Regulation Podcast episode 33 treats Christmas less like a theme than a hall pass for Jeff Ramsey, Eric Bedore, Andrew Panton, Gavin Free, and Nick Schwartz to chase whatever thought lands next.

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Why you'd press play

If you want a Christmas episode that can hop from bagels to sarsaparilla to whether ticks count as vampires, press play.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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