RE 535: How to Let Go...

·46 min·4 clips

At 25, Kayleen's doctor said her health was so poor from drinking she wouldn't live to see 30.

The episode begins with host Paul Churchill introducing the theme of letting go, a common topic in recovery circles. He humorously admits that after 10 years sober, he still doesn't know how to let go, suggesting the key is noticing where you're holding on. Guest Kayleen joins, sharing her last drink was April 6, 2025. She describes early alcohol use, taking swigs from her mom's cabinet before school in ninth grade and drinking Everclear at 16. In college, she drank alone in her dorm, was suspended, and went to detox three times. At 21, she got two DUIs. She met her ex-wife in 2019, and their relationship revolved around daily drinking, arguing over the last shot in a bottle. Her doctor warned at 25 her health was so poor she might not see 30. In April 2023, she discovered the Recovery Elevator podcast by accident while drinking. Inspired by stories, she quit on May 25, 2023, losing 80 pounds in the first year. She joined Café RE in August 2023, finding community and an accountability partner who later became her roommate after her divorce. She felt imposter syndrome in AA due to being younger. After 22 months sober, she relapsed at her sister's wedding on April 5, 2025, drinking a fifth alone the next day. She returned to sobriety quickly with support from sober friends. She discusses her Douglas fir tattoo, covering self-harm scars, symbolizing resilience. In the rapid-fire round, she shares insights like learning she's fun and her best sober moment was a Simple Plan concert. The episode ends with Paul reflecting on letting go through forgiveness.

As heard by us

Kayleen's move from expecting to die drinking to building self-love gives this recovery conversation its force.

Recovery Elevator 535 shapes Kayleen's story around a frightening health warning and the slow opening sobriety creates when alcohol is no longer taking up so much room.

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Why you'd press play

You want proof a life alcohol shrank can widen again? Kayleen starts on the couch, drinking, and begins to imagine sobriety.

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