Radio Nonsense: A Comedy Club 4 Kids podcast · Comedy Club 4 Kids Ltd

Why are oranges orange? With Myles Mcleod

·51 min·3 clips

Miles says touching anything would turn “the whole universe” to gravy, which would ruin even spectacles and a house.

Tiernan starts from the doctor’s surgery after a toe injury and immediately tells the story in the most unhinged way possible. The toe was apparently introduced to sticks, stinky hippos hiding in the carpet, and a knitted model of Warwick Castle. The doctor responds with baffling seriousness, using a stick and an accordion to examine the situation. A diagnosis is put off while the patient is told to wait outside. The conversation then leaps into a theory that one giant rice would be better than many little rices. Spiders are judged too big already. Wasps get the same treatment. Great white sharks are also told to shrink. Houses might grow, but only if the neighbours can live with it. Roads could be smaller too. Airports could be reduced if the planes are tiny, which would leave more room for bigger houses. The logic keeps sliding sideways without ever losing confidence. A small zoo is imagined first, mostly for comedy. Then the idea flips into a zoo of enormous creatures. A bat the size of a jumbo jet and a lion like a cathedral both sound better than the usual version. The insect bit is admitted to be the least favorite part of the zoo. Even so, the bit keeps going because the show never lets a silly thought stop at the first joke. The ending snaps back to the doctor with a pirate-style prescription. An eye patch and a big hat appear, followed by orders to sail the seven seas immediately. Captain Smallbeard leaves with a now-forgotten toe and a promise to get back in time for next week’s podcast.

As heard by us

A stubbed toe becomes a brisk tour through size-based nonsense.

The episode starts with a stubbed toe and a doctor visit, then wanders into big rice, tiny spiders, small sharks, and zoo talk. The joke is simple: every idea gets treated like it belongs in a serious plan.

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Why you'd press play

For when a stubbed toe deserves a pirate ending and a giant-rice debate.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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