Radio Nonsense: A Comedy Club 4 Kids podcast · Comedy Club 4 Kids Ltd

If i ate myself,would i get twice as big,or just disappear? With Sarah Mills

·45 min·2 clips

Sarah answers Beatrix’s question by saying self-eating could make “a second elbow” on your forehead or “just disappear.”

1. Radio Nonsense: A Comedy Club 4 Kids podcast centers this episode on Sarah Mills and a question about eating yourself. 2. Sarah Mills appears as the person who decides where “do not walk on the grass” signs go, and her work matters because Tiernan treats her as the expert on grass access. 3. The episode asks what happens if someone eats themselves, and Sarah answers it as a practical body-mass problem rather than a pure joke. 4. Sarah says she has put the signs “up my bum this morning,” calling it a “new storage solution” after doing decluttering at home. 5. She says her role is “devolved” to England, names Hampstead Heath in North London and Fairlands Valley in Stevenage, and describes some areas as places where people may not walk on the grass. 6. Sarah says she is “a spiteful grass god” who grants or removes “grass privileges” depending on whether “the people of the UK live up to my expectations.” 7. She says rule-breakers lose all their jelly, and she says the jelly is redistributed to “certified good pedestrians.” 8. Tiernan and Sarah discuss whether the punishment is disclosed on the signs, and Sarah explains that the signs only say “do not walk on the grass.” 9. The conversation also reaches Donald Trump’s golf course in Scotland, where Sarah says the FBI stopped her from putting up signs. 10. Tiernan asks about family-friendly language, and Sarah says she will not say “do do head” or “panther Tron.” 11. Sarah says she likes the idea of a nose bag “like a horse” more than having food thrown at her like a performing seal. 12. She argues that a nose bag would save people from constantly unloading the dishwasher and could be “biodegradable” and “one use only.” 13. Tiernan keeps pushing the logic of jumping for dinner, and Sarah says she would resent it because she dislikes jumping. 14. Sarah says she once tried a “panther Tron” and it wanted to put on the wrong trousers and choose green pants. 15. The episode jokes about Beyonce, including “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly,” “Bootylicious,” and a shared train trip to Norfolk. 16. Tiernan and Sarah also discuss whether the question is best understood from a spy perspective, because Beatrix might be undercover and could be trying to disappear on purpose. 17. The tone is fast, improvised, and densely joke-driven, with Tiernan chasing Sarah’s claims while Sarah answers in deadpan confidence. 18. The format mixes guest banter, listener questions, admin prompts, and recurring nonsense about grass, jelly, bums, and lawyers. 19. Listeners who like surreal, child-friendly interview comedy with repeated nonsense ideas. 20. Listeners who want serious advice, literal answers, or calm pacing.

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