PAYAM PAKMANESH | The Rules of Male Conversation

·1 hr 8 min·5 clips

Payam Pakmanesh explains why one conversation can change your life, from promotions to dates, and how men lack proper training.

Ryan Michler introduces the episode by highlighting how conversation underpins every life opportunity, yet men rarely train this skill. Guest Payam Pakmanesh, a communication expert, explains that most men wing conversations or rely on unqualified friends for guidance. They discuss how voices are shaped by nurture, not nature, and the importance of self-awareness through filming oneself to notice filler words and eye contact. Payam introduces Adlerian psychology, focusing on controlling one's own tasks rather than others' reactions. The 'zoom flow' method is presented as a way to steer conversations by zooming in or out on keywords. A key theme is auditing internal stories—questioning assumptions about others' intentions, like in a gym confrontation story Payam shares. They address the cost of avoiding difficult conversations, linking it to resentment and the 'nice guy' syndrome. Practical advice includes logging stories to identify patterns, using disagreement statements respectfully, and viewing small talk as a necessary step for deeper connection. The episode concludes with Payam sharing his social media handles and coaching services, while Ryan encourages listeners to apply the insights.

As heard by us

A practical episode on communication, better interpretations, and the opportunities that start with how people talk.

Conversation becomes a practical kind of leverage in this episode, as Payam Pakmanesh, known as the Convo Guy, makes the case that promotions, jobs, clients, and dates often start with how people communicate.

Read the full review in PlayNext →

Why you'd press play

You want better conversations at work and in life, but you keep letting snap judgments write the script before the real exchange begins.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

Listen to the show on

Apple Podcasts Spotify

Play clips from this episode More from Order of Man