Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships · Multiamory | Pleasure Podcasts

563 - The Episode to Share with Your Parents: Remastered

·54 min·3 clips

A 2023 YouGov survey found 34% of Americans preferred something other than complete monogamy.

1. Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships frames episode 563, “The Episode to Share with Your Parents: Remastered,” as a guide for people learning that a loved one is non-monogamous. 2. Jace, Emily, and Dedeker host the episode, and Dedeker’s 2012 coming-out conversation with her mom gives the episode its personal stakes. 3. The episode asks what a worried parent or family member needs to know to support someone who has come out as polyamorous, open, or otherwise non-monogamous. 4. Dedeker describes telling her mother she was poly, not straight, and no longer Christian in one difficult “triple whammy” conversation. 5. The hosts explain that the goal is not to proselytize non-monogamy, but to give a resource that can do some of the “heavy lifting” for family members. 6. They recommend Lola Phoenix’s book Supporting Someone Polyamorous for relatives who prefer a text-based guide. 7. They also mention Lola Phoenix’s guest module in Dedeker’s course, Building a Strong Foundation for Nonmonogamy. 8. The episode defines non-monogamy as an umbrella term for relationship structures outside strict monogamy and clarifies that their usage means consensual non-monogamy. 9. They distinguish consensual non-monogamy from cheating by emphasizing agreement, awareness, and consent among everyone involved. 10. They note that people sometimes use polyamory, open relationship, swinging, and relationship anarchist as labels, and say the safest move is to ask what the label means to that person. 11. The hosts separate polyamory from polygamy and describe polygamy as a married arrangement where one man has multiple wives who do not have outside partners. 12. A YouGov survey from February 2023 is used to show that 34% of 1,000 Americans preferred something other than complete monogamy. 13. The same survey found that 12% reported sex with a primary partner’s permission and 20% reported sex without their main partner’s consent. 14. The hosts cite an estimate that about 5% of U.S. adults are currently in a consensually non-monogamous relationship. 15. They argue that people who practice consensual non-monogamy are often doctors, lawyers, teachers, neighbors, and other ordinary adults. 16. The episode challenges the idea that non-monogamy is “just a sex thing” by noting that many forms also involve emotional and intimate relationships. 17. The hosts also discuss a 2015 study they cite showing people in consensually non-monogamous relationships had the same or lower STI rates than monogamous counterparts. 18. Their explanation for that finding is practical: more testing, more sharing of results, and more explicit conversations about condoms and safer sex. 19. The tone is explanatory and personal, with the hosts mixing first-person experience, statistics, and plain-language examples. 20. Listeners who want a calm primer before a coming-out conversation will benefit most, while people seeking a short entertainment-first episode may skip it.

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