Modern Love · The New York Times

I Was the Fun Dad. It Almost Destroyed My Marriage.

January 28, 2026·43 min·3 clips

When COVID halted Jordan Carlos's comedy career, he realized his family could run without him — 'I felt like I was going to get fired from my family. Like I was an appendix.'

Anna Martin starts with a call for romantic stories, asking listeners to send in voice memos by the deadline for the show’s Valentine’s Day episode. The request sets a playful, openhearted frame. From there, the conversation settles into a marriage story that feels small on the surface and revealing underneath. Jordan Carlos talks about making coffee for his wife in the morning. He describes going downstairs, dodging Legos, and trying to get the milk foamed just the way she likes it. He points to the little details that matter to her, including agave instead of sugar. The gesture matters because it is unusual for him. He says he had never done it before. He also explains that his schedule as a comedian has left him moving through normal morning hours like someone who is basically still asleep. That context gives the coffee more weight than the act itself would have on paper. It is not just a drink. It is attention. When he brings it back upstairs, his wife looks at him with suspicion. She seems to wonder whether he is joking or setting up a prank. He insists it is not a prank. He just wants her to have the coffee. She drinks it. She likes it. The reaction lands as a real moment of connection rather than a grand declaration. Jordan describes feeling his hand shake as he waits for that response. He says he was elated when she received it well. The episode uses that reaction to show how much a tiny act can matter inside an ordinary marriage. It also keeps the comedy intact. The scene is funny because it is domestic and a little absurd. The final note leaves the listener with the sense that care often shows up in the smallest available form. In this case, it shows up with coffee, foam, and a near-miss on the stairs.

As heard by us

A funny, grounded Modern Love conversation about repair through one small, carefully made cup of coffee.

Modern Love finds its emotional center in a modest act of domestic care. Jordan Carlos describes being at odds with his wife, then remembering to bring her morning coffee for the first time: made with frothed milk, agave, and the right amount of sweetness.

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Why you'd press play

A morning coffee gesture turns into a sweet, funny look at marriage.

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