Mind On Mental Health · Penn Medicine - Princeton House Behavioral Health

Twenty-First Century Tips for Families with an Addicted Loved One

·14 min

Andy Dean talks with Ken Pecoraro from CPC Behavioral Health in Monmouth County, New Jersey, for the second installment in a three-part series on family involvement in addiction treatment. Ken is a licensed clinical social worker and a licensed clinical alcohol and drug counselor who has worked in substance use care for 30 years. The setup is practical and familiar: someone calls because they are worried about a kid, a neighbor, a student, or another loved one. Ken does not jump straight to a diagnosis or a plan. He starts by listening and asking what is actually going on. That person-centered stance shapes the whole episode. The word that keeps coming up is engagement. For Ken, engagement means taking time before trying to steer. It means letting the other person talk about what matters to them. Sometimes that is drugs. Sometimes it is anger. Sometimes it is fishing or surfing. He treats those detours as the way in, not wasted time. He shares an example of a son who kept coming back because their visits centered on surfing, which helped build trust enough to keep the relationship going. Ken also says the clinician has to lower the ego. The work is not about proving expertise. It is about permission, empathy, and meeting the person on their level. He closes by stressing compassion, nonjudgment, and the idea that even people who have done harmful things still have the capacity to change.

As heard by us

A calm guide to support built on listening, patience, and less ego.

Ken Pecoraro frames family support as listening before advising, with a focus on letting people speak about what matters to them and easing up on ego so trust has room to form. The advice stays close to ordinary human contact, which gives it a calm, workable feel.

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Why you'd press play

When you want a calmer, person-centered way to talk with a loved one about substance use.

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