Magnificent Montague - Measles

April 8, 2026·30 min·2 clips

Dr. Henshaw diagnoses the magnificent Montague with the measles, sending the household into chaos.

This episode of the vintage radio comedy "Magnificent Montague" stars the melodramatic Shakespearean actor Edwin Montague, his wife Lily, and their sharp-tongued maid Agnes. The story revolves around Edwin's sudden illness and its chaotic impact on his radio career as the host of the "Uncle Goodheart" program. Dr. Henshaw arrives to diagnose the ailing Edwin after Lily expresses concern over his pale complexion and fever. Edwin initially resists any examination, trading insults with both Agnes and the doctor. Dr. Henshaw determines Edwin has contracted the measles, a diagnosis Edwin refuses to accept, believing it to be a more serious, fatal condition. The crisis deepens when Edwin's radio producers, Mr. Springer and Mr. Zinser, arrive to discuss his impending broadcast. Zinser reveals his entire family has measles, leading Edwin to blame him for being a carrier. With Edwin bedridden, the producers face a fifteen-minute dead air crisis on the "Uncle Goodheart" show. Agnes suggests Lily substitute for Edwin on the air, an idea the producers enthusiastically support. Edwin is horrified, fearing radio will ruin his wife and insisting she lacks the necessary talent. Lily reluctantly agrees to perform as "Auntie Goodheart" and goes to the station. During her broadcast, she reads a listener letter and recites Portia's "quality of mercy" speech from *The Merchant of Venice*. Edwin listens at home and is appalled, declaring she has mutilated Shakespeare. Lily returns to an enthusiastic reception from Springer and Zinser, who report a flood of congratulatory calls and hail her as the next "Ma Perkins." They offer her the job permanently. A recovered Edwin suddenly declares himself perfectly healthy and demands to resume his role, but Dr. Henshaw orders him to remain in bed for two more weeks. Lily, empowered by her success, decides to continue as Auntie Goodheart, leading Edwin to accuse her of creating a "female Frankenstein." In a final twist, Dr. Henshaw examines the flushed Lily and diagnoses her with measles as well. With both Montagues quarantined for two weeks and the radio program in jeopardy, the maid Agnes seizes the script and announces she will become the new host, "Cousin Agnes." The episode is a fast-paced, farcical comedy built on exaggerated characters and rapid-fire dialogue. The tone is lighthearted and satirical, poking fun at theatrical ego, domestic squabbles, and the early radio industry. Listeners who enjoy classic screwball humor, vintage radio aesthetics, and witty marital sparring will love this episode. Those preferring modern podcasts or straightforward narratives might find the old-fashioned style and laugh-track style delivery less engaging.

As heard by us

Measles becomes a small domestic catastrophe, and the cast keeps the joke moving.

Edwin Montague turns a bout of measles into a full-blown domestic drama, and the joke lands because everyone around him keeps refusing to let him have the last word.

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Why you'd press play

A measles-bed melodrama where Edwin treats a few spots like the final curtain.

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