Grief and Hope with Lisa-Jo Baker

May 9, 2024·1 hr 11 min·4 clips

A thought about “what it was like to be parented by an angry parent” sent Lisa-Jo Baker to her father’s voicemail.

1. Live Well Anyway centers on Mackenzie Coppa’s conversation with Lisa-Jo Baker about the memoir It Wasn’t Roaring, It Was Weeping. 2. Mackenzie Coppa hosts the episode, and Lisa-Jo Baker is the guest whose new memoir connects family history, apartheid, and faith. 3. The episode asks what happens when a writer tells the story under the story, including fatherhood, anger, and South African history. 4. Coppa says she waited through a 2-week hiatus and returned excited for Baker’s new book and audiobook performance. 5. Baker says the memoir is complicated because it covers a dysfunctional relationship with her father and a childhood under apartheid. 6. Baker describes her parents as both hero and villain in her story, which is why the memoir resists simple categories. 7. She says the book only came into focus after she became a parent, had been married 20 years, and saw tensions with her middle son, her husband, and her family in South Africa. 8. Baker calls those years “eruptions” that forced buried stories to the surface. 9. She explains that she wrote the book while holding a full-time job and using weekends, holidays, and late nights. 10. A 4,000-woman MOPS event in Florida became the trigger for a talk on anger and parenting. 11. In the bathroom, brushing her teeth, she felt the idea that she should tell the story of being parented by an angry parent. 12. She says her immediate reaction was “hell no,” because she knew she would need to speak to her father first. 13. Baker says she did not want to risk a denial from her father, especially because their relationship worked partly because of the ocean between South Africa and Baltimore. 14. She eventually sent him a Voxer message and received permission to use the story. 15. Baker says she played her father’s response before the talk because it was so generous. 16. The stage story became the center of the memoir and the beginning of the conversations that shaped the book. 17. She says the original publisher assignment was a completely different book about healthy social media use. 18. After admitting she did not love that draft, she told her agent she thought she was meant to write about her dad and South Africa. 19. The interview is warm, reflective, and candid, with long-form storytelling and clear affection between host and guest. 20. Readers who like memoir, South African history, and faith-filled family stories will likely enjoy it; readers wanting a quick practical self-help book may skip it.

As heard by us

A warm, steady conversation about justice, family life, and paying attention.

Lisa-Jo Baker's visit stays grounded in a warm, thoughtful chat about the new book, the audiobook, justice, motherhood, rage, temper, and the harder work of paying attention.

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Why you'd press play

For when you want a reflective interview about Lisa Jo Baker's new book, It Wasn't Roaring, It Was Weeping, and why the audiobook gets special attention.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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