Jillian Turecki; ‘when it comes to love, it begins with you.’

·52 min·5 clips

On June 2, 2014, Jillian Turecki woke to a miscarriage and her husband texting he wasn't coming home.

Host Jonathan Bastian introduces the episode by questioning what makes relationships work, highlighting the essential ingredient of selfless giving. Guest Jillian Turecki, a relationship coach and host of the podcast 'Jillian on Love', joins to discuss her new book. Turecki rates most people who seek her help at a C level in navigating romantic relationships, noting high achievers often struggle in this vulnerable area. She recounts the pivotal day of June 2, 2014, when she experienced a miscarriage and her husband abandoned her, coinciding with her mother's terminal illness. This catastrophe led her to obsess over what makes relationships work, driving her into coaching. Turecki explains the first truth: 'it begins with you,' emphasizing that while you are not the only problem, you have the power to change your circumstances. She discusses pattern recognition, where people date the same type repeatedly or show up the same way in each relationship. The conversation delves into cultural influences, such as individualistic society and misleading media portrayals of love. Turecki distinguishes lust from love, stating lust takes while love gives, and advises giving potential partners about four dates before deciding. She addresses the pain of rejection, asserting that you cannot convince someone to love you and that trying only reduces self-worth. The episode explores the pressure to be in a relationship, with Turecki noting that while healthy relationships enhance life, being single can also be fulfilling. She provides tips for maintaining long-term relationships, including communication, vulnerability, and daily small gestures like saying please and thank you. On modern dating, Turecki suggests using apps as a tool but also being proactive, resourceful, and investing in friendships. The host concludes by encouraging listener feedback and sharing related interviews.

As heard by us

A practical, grounded look at attraction, rejection, and the difference between lust and love.

Life Examined treats modern dating as a question of attention and motive, drawing a clean line between lust that takes and love that gives. Jonathan Bastian's conversation with relationship coach and author Jillian Turecki moves through rejection, emotional availability,…

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Why you'd press play

You are unsure whether a good date lacked chemistry or simply needed more room to show you what was there.

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