Life.Church with Craig Groeschel · Life.Church

The Signs You Keep Ignoring | Love Stories | Part 1

April 27, 2025·34 min·3 clips

Craig reveals Ahab and Jezebel's marriage as the Bible's worst, warning about the signs we overlook in relationships.

This episode features pastor Craig Groeschel teaching from the biblical story of King Ahab and Queen Jezebel. He uses their dysfunctional marriage as a case study to identify dangerous relational patterns. The message is framed as a warning about the red flags we often ignore in dating and marriage. Groeschel introduces Ahab, the seventh king of Israel, and his Phoenician wife Jezebel, a worshiper of the false god Baal. Scripture states Ahab did more to provoke God's anger than any king before him, heavily influenced by Jezebel. The core problem is identified as a combination of a "passive spirit that refuses to engage" and a "controlling spirit that seeks to dominate." He illustrates Ahab's passivity with the story of Naboth's vineyard, where Ahab throws a tantrum after Naboth refuses to sell his family's land. Jezebel's controlling nature is shown when she belittles Ahab, forges letters in his name, and orchestrates Naboth's murder to seize the property. A surprising insight is that psychologists say the opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. Groeschel argues that passivity in dating leads to a passive partner in marriage, creating relational suffocation. He also applies the principle of passivity to the story of Adam and Eve, suggesting Adam's sin was being passively present during the temptation. For men, he delivers a direct call to action, urging them to be "faith-filled, Spirit-filled men of God" who lead actively. Conversely, he explains how a spouse's words can build up or tear down, sharing a personal story of how his wife Amy's encouragement sustained him during a crisis in 2019. He lists three red flags of a passive spirit: lacking direction and initiative, avoiding hard conversations, and deferring responsibility. Three red flags of a controlling spirit are using guilt or pressure to control, making all decisions unilaterally, and exhibiting distrust through constant checking. Groeschel surprisingly confesses his own struggles with both a controlling spirit and, at times, passivity within his family. The ultimate problem in Ahab and Jezebel's story was not their dynamic but the "absence of God," as they turned away from worshiping Yahweh. The episode ends with a note of hope, explaining that Ahab later repented, and God showed him mercy. Groeschel emphasizes that repentance can change one's future and that there is always a way back to God, making healing possible. The tone is primarily educational and pastoral, blending scriptural exposition with practical relationship advice. Groeschel's style is conversational, humorous, and disarmingly transparent, often speaking directly to the listener with personal anecdotes. This episode is ideal for Christians seeking biblical relationship guidance, those feeling stuck in a passive or controlling dynamic, or anyone looking for a candid sermon on marriage. Listeners who prefer purely exegetical teaching or are uncomfortable with broad gender-based applications might find less value here.

As heard by us

A clear warning about how control, passivity, and words can shape a marriage.

The piece treats Ahab and Jezebel as a sharp warning about control, passivity, and manipulation in marriage. It moves quickly, uses humor without softening the point, and keeps circling back to a simple idea: words can steady a relationship or wear it down.

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Why you'd press play

When your relationship feels stuck between passivity and control.

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