Let's Relieve Regret: A self-help podcast about forgiving yourself · Shadoe and Victoria

Wrapped up in the "should" of it

·50 min·3 clips

“If you don’t have children why is your house messy?” turns the tidy-home shame into a sharper social comparison.

1. Let's Relieve Regret frames “Wrapped up in the "should" of it” around self-forgiveness, clutter, and fear of asking for help. 2. Victoria Mirabersia is the co-host and Shadow Ball is the other co-host, and both matter because they trade regret stories and feedback. 3. The episode asks whether someone can release regret before changing habits, especially when shame is tied to home cleaning. 4. Shadow says she is embarrassed that she cannot keep a clean, tidy home and wants a “minimalistic aesthetic.” 5. She describes doing big declutters, then seeing the mess return within “two or three days,” which keeps the house from feeling settled. 6. She says the clutter stops her from fully relaxing, because to-do lists appear in her eyeline whenever she sits down. 7. Shadow also says visitors need “at least two days warning” for a short visit and “a month in advance” for a weekend, which makes her feel embarrassed. 8. Victoria argues that some cleaning tasks are “horrible,” that ADHD can make a five-minute task take much longer, and that service work like cleaning supports the economy. 9. They discuss whether paying for a cleaner is actually a priority choice, with Victoria asking what the money would save and what it could make possible. 10. Victoria suggests that keeping a home tidy is partly about emotional attachment to objects, and she mentions taking photos and thanking items before letting them go. 11. Shadow says the core issue is that she feels she “should be able to do it on my own,” and that belief is wrapped around the regret. 12. Victoria asks whose judgment matters most, and Shadow starts answering by naming societal expectations rather than a single person. 13. Victoria pushes her to choose between fear of judgment for the current mess and fear of judgment for asking for help to improve the house. 14. Shadow says that asking for help is the fear she should let go of, even if her house is not yet as tidy as she wants. 15. The conversation then shifts to a related regret about “breaking down my wall or masking,” which Shadow links to life after burnout. 16. Shadow says vulnerability used to be hard, that she has been “masking all the time,” and that she still notices herself building a wall again in friend check-ins. 17. Victoria and Shadow also discuss “big T trauma” and “little T trauma,” with Victoria saying the word trauma is often overused and should be used carefully. 18. The tone is conversational and reflective, with long back-and-forth prompts, practical examples, and direct coaching questions. 19. People who like honest talk about shame, clutter, ADHD, and self-forgiveness will get the most from it. 20. People looking for a fast, lightly edited, topic-focused episode may skip it.

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