Let's Relieve Regret: A self-help podcast about forgiving yourself · Shadoe and Victoria

What often got us here, doesn't always get us there (with guest Danielle Sebastian)

·1 hr 18 min·1 clip

Danielle Sebastian says she thought being strong meant taking it all on and never asking for help.

Danielle Sebastian joins Shadow Ball and Victoria. The conversation begins with her work helping people identify and move through trauma in relationships. She brings the perspective of someone who has lived through strain in her own marriage and then spent years studying the subject. That lived experience becomes part of how she frames care. The hosts lean into the idea of letting go of past hurts without pretending family life or relationships are perfect. Danielle talks about the pressure people feel to present a polished family story. That pressure gets especially sharp when someone is public-facing and feels expected to model perfection. She pushes back on the idea that a loving family has to look flawless from the outside. The episode keeps returning to the difference between responsibility and blame. It asks what actually belongs to a daughter, a mother, a partner, or a parent. That question opens into the shift that happens when adult children start relating to their parents as adults. Parents may still see their children as kids. The grown-up relationship, though, can make room for real conversations. It also makes room for a different set of expectations. The show does not pretend that shift is easy. It makes space for the reality that some parents are working on their self-awareness and some are not. It also names the harder truth that some parents may never have the capacity to do that work. From there, the conversation moves toward forgiving yourself anyway. That means adjusting expectations without turning the whole burden inward. It means not making every family wound your personal failure. The episode stays gentle about that reality. It keeps circling back to the idea that you can tell the truth about what hurt and still stop carrying all of it alone.

As heard by us

A warm, practical conversation about family change, adult boundaries, and the limits of what repair can ask of one person.

Let's Relieve Regret presents Danielle Sebastian as a steady, thoughtful guest on trauma in relationships, with the conversation circling family change once a child becomes an adult.

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Why you'd press play

You need a gentler way to carry family hurt without making yourself the problem.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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