My Journey Through Grief, Bullying & Becoming | Legally Clueless Ep 354

·43 min·4 clips

Gashambi describes the chilling moment she was told her father 'went to be with the Lord' during university.

This episode features host Adele Onyango in conversation with Gashambi, an advocate of the High Court of Kenya, humanitarian lawyer, activist, and digital creator. Gashambi shares a deeply personal narrative of her life, structured as part one of a two-part series. The conversation traces her journey from childhood through university, focusing on pivotal experiences that shaped her. Gashambi describes a confident childhood disrupted by Kenya's post-election violence, which forced a school transfer and impacted her academic performance. She recounts experiencing physical bullying in high school during a birthday tradition involving pinching and being doused with water. Her father insisted she live in university hostels for independence, a decision she later saw as visionary. Gashambi entered university at 17 and immersed herself in a new world of alcohol and clubs, which led to declining grades. Her father died in October 2015 during her first year, a loss communicated to her abruptly after she was pulled from class. She describes suppressing her grief and attempting to study through the pain, often reading notes on her phone just minutes before exams. Her academic performance began to improve in her third year, which she attributes primarily to the power of a supportive study community. She graduated in 2020 after clearing backlogged failed units, an achievement celebrated online during COVID-19 lockdowns. Gashambi then faced the intense pressure of the Kenya School of Law exams, studying in a cramped hostel room with a group of friends on a rigorous schedule of one meal a day and rotational sleep. A key insight is her reflection that community, not just personal grit, was the essential force that helped her succeed academically. She reveals that she did not initially recognize her own depression, understanding only later that unacknowledged grief had been shaping her actions. The story highlights how a parent's insistence on structure can have a profound, long-term impact, even after their passing. Her experience with bullying created a lasting dread of physical abuse. The narrative challenges the glorification of solitary struggle by crediting communal effort for her turnaround. Gashambi's account of studying for the bar exams illustrates an extreme "do or die" mentality prevalent in professional certification. The episode ends on a cliffhanger as she prepares to open her Kenya School of Law exam results. The tone is raw, reflective, and conversational, with Adele providing a supportive space for the guest's story. The style is narrative-driven, focusing on emotional honesty and personal transformation over linear chronology. Listeners interested in stories of resilience, mental health, and educational journeys within an African context will find this episode compelling. Those who prefer highly produced, topic-driven interviews over intimate, monologue-style storytelling might find it less engaging.

As heard by us

A plainspoken story that turns a family interruption into something quietly affecting.

Adele Onyango opens with a personal turn that lands fast: a call from an aunt, a quick exit from class, and a day that changes course before it has time to settle. The story works because the details stay ordinary while the feeling does not.

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Why you'd press play

You want a personal story that starts with a class interruption and turns into an urgent family call.

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