EP 672: Encore Episode with Logan Ury - How to Not Die Alone

·37 min·3 clips

Logan Ury explains how combining decision science with dating can break your relationship patterns.

Sandy Weiner introduces the episode as an encore with Logan Ury, a behavioral scientist and dating coach. Ury explains her background in decision-making at Google's Irrational Lab and how she combined it with dating to write her book. She frames dating as a series of decisions that can lead to either great relationships or repeated patterns. Ury distinguishes between love, which is natural, and dating, which is a learnable skill. She discusses the paradox of choice in dating apps, where too many options can lead to dissatisfaction. Ury introduces the three dating tendencies: romanticizers, maximizers, and hesitators, each with unrealistic expectations that act as blind spots. She debunks myths about the spark, arguing that instant chemistry is overrated and that the slow burn often leads to better long-term partnerships. Ury shares her personal story of meeting her husband through a slow-burn friendship. She contrasts seeking a 'prom date' with seeking a 'life partner,' emphasizing traits like kindness and emotional stability. Ury also talks about differentiating deal breakers from permissible pet peeves (PPPs) and how similar hobbies matter less than shared values. She advises on making dating more fun by avoiding interview-like dates and incorporating play. The episode concludes with Ury sharing resources for listeners.

As heard by us

Dating choices, chemistry, and a slower path toward something steadier.

Sandy Wiener centers this conversation on how people make choices in dating, with Logan Urie bringing a perspective grounded in the science of decision-making.

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Why you'd press play

If you have been mistaking anxiety for chemistry, start here.

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