Knights of the Rolled Table | a Dungeons & Dragons podcast · Knights of the Rolled Table

Ooze on First

·1 hr 10 min·5 clips

Cookie uses Plane Shift to remove the biggest ooze permanently.

The party is on the move. After stops in Hammertuck and along the coast, Yenny, Igneous, Biscuit, Deidre Branch, and Cookie reach dry-land Kal Tavat and climb toward a ruined castle and keep where Clanrock is trying to hold things together. The place has been under siege and short on leadership, and the enemy turns out to be a 15-foot giant slime. Once the wall starts bulging, the session shifts fast from travel recap to a scramble over stone, walkway, and everyone standing on top of it. Deidre and Yenny are asked to read the scene. The party works out who has the best angle, who can actually see the threat, and who can land a useful hit without making the wall collapse in the process. Biscuit wants to burn it, but that gets shut down quickly when it becomes clear the ooze is already inside the wall and fire would probably cause more damage than the monster. A beach-ball-sized bulge appears on the inner side. Biscuit then leans on telekinesis, makes a strong roll, and starts dragging the creature free instead of trying to blast it apart. The slime does not come out politely. As it is pulled loose, it drags stone with it and swells into something closer to a beanbag chair than a puddle, which makes the whole scene feel even more ridiculous and more dangerous at the same time. Younger dragonborn pitch in, helping and heckling while the group tries to figure out what kind of gluey fix could possibly hold this mess together after the fight. Chicken poop, cornstarch, joint compound, and other improvised nonsense start flying around as if a siege were just another home-improvement problem with better armor. The battle finally ends. The episode closes on relief, applause, and the crew celebrating the first battle while keeping the family-friendly goofiness intact. By the time they land on a pun about snoozing and oozing, it feels earned because the whole encounter has been one long reminder not to underestimate slime.

As heard by us

A messy siege fight where the slime joke keeps growing.

At Kal Tavat, a 15-foot giant slime turns the ruined keep fight into a quick, hands-on scramble. The spells land, the checks keep coming, and the banter stays inside the action instead of drifting away from it.

Read the full review in PlayNext →

Why you'd press play

You want a D&D siege that turns into a gooey cleanup problem.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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