Knights of the Rolled Table | a Dungeons & Dragons podcast · Knights of the Rolled Table

Non-Newtonian Druid

·46 min·2 clips

Igneous charcoal-scribbles "We think you are an ooze," and Branch holds the sign up to the door while posing as a child Dragonborn.

1. Knights of the Rolled Table's "Non-Newtonian Druid" is a Dungeons & Dragons actual-play episode that follows a gelatinous cube fight, a village of disguised oozes, and a rickety ravine bridge. 2. Jeff is the Dungeon Master for Season 7 and voices the NPC Morthos, while the players control Branch, Igneous, Biscuit, Deidre, and Cookie. 3. The episode runs on a comedic contrast between the party's cautious handling of the oozes and Branch's decision to adopt a bright blue slime. 4. At the village, Biscuit rolls a 16 on investigation while invisible and sees the "Dragonborn" ripple and goo-ify behind a door, so the group tests whether oozes can read using a charcoal sign. 5. Branch, still looking like a child Dragonborn, asks the occupants to donate to "my school," and the party leaves a door sign reading "Ooze is Inside. Do not solicit." 6. At the ravine, the party crosses by Dimension Door and Cookie's giant owl form, Morthos shimmies along the rail, Igneous gets a 29 on acrobatics, and Deidre rolls a natural 20 after a Misty Step. 7. Branch finds a pug-sized, bright blue slime on his boot and lets it absorb his hand, then carries it across the bridge on his back while in giant fly form. 8. Morthos warns that the slime "could [melt you] at any time" and calls oozes killing machines responsible for the deaths of "a thousand of my countrymen," and Branch promises to "take responsibility for it." 9. Branch's Speak with Animals gets no real reply, but the slime fizzes like an "Alka-Seltzer tablet" around a piece of jerky, and at camp Igneous and the others spend 1d4 hours building a hoop to train it. 10. Listeners who enjoy lighthearted D&D actual play with improvised roleplay will like this.

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