How To Talk To Girls Podcast · Tripp Kramer

What She’s Thinking When You Approach Her

·48 min·4 clips

Ina explains why women become irrational and idolize men after having sex too quickly.

This episode features host Tripp Kramer and guest Ina Mel, a relationship coach who works with single successful women. They explore the female perspective during a male approach and the dynamics of masculine and feminine energy in dating. Ina studied under the John Gottman Institute and cites influences like Esther Perel and Harville Hendrix. The conversation defines masculine energy as stable, confident, and proactive, while feminine energy is described as receptive, nurturing, and sensual. Ina notes her clients often possess dominant masculine energy, which can be intimidating in dating contexts. When approached, women frequently question a man's motive, wondering if he seeks a genuine connection or just sex, driven by a need for emotional and physical safety. Evolutionary psychology is referenced to explain women's inherent desire for a protective partner who ensures security. A surprising insight is that some women find persistent men attractive, interpreting repeated, confident attempts for a date or number as a sign of desirable determination. However, both hosts caution that persistence must be clear in romantic intent to avoid the "friend zone." Another claim is that sex early in dating causes women to become "irrational" and overly invested, often idealizing their partner. Tripp adds that men can also become irrationally attached after intimacy with a physically attractive woman, craving the validation. The discussion reveals a double standard where men might view a woman's high number of sexual partners negatively, while women might see a man's high count as social proof of his attractiveness. Ina suggests a woman could feel specially "chosen" by such a man. Regarding online dating, Ina states women primarily evaluate profiles based on photo quality and bio content, with deal-breakers like political mismatches. She shares an example of a bio bluntly stating the user was only seeking sex. The tone is a casual, exploratory dialogue between two coaches sharing theories and client experiences. The style is conversational and educational, blending personal anecdotes with broad generalizations about dating psychology. Listeners interested in dating advice, gender dynamics, and understanding attraction from a coached female perspective would enjoy this episode. Those uncomfortable with generalized statements about male and female behavior or evolutionary psychology might prefer to skip it.

As heard by us

A blunt dating-coach discussion of first impressions, safety cues, and how approach style shapes interest.

The episode looks at how women can read a man’s intent, safety, and respect early on. Tripp keeps the focus on attraction as something shaped by behavior, not just a quick spark, and the coaching tone stays practical throughout.

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Why you'd press play

You want a cleaner first approach and less second-guessing about her guard.

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