How To Talk To Girls Podcast · Tripp Kramer

Depressed, Down, & In A Rut? Listen To This.

·49 min·4 clips

Dr. John says loneliness kills more than smoking and fuels our worst addictions.

This episode features host Tripp Kramer interviewing Dr. John Deloney, a mental health professional and crisis responder, to offer guidance for men feeling stuck, lonely, or depressed. Dr. John is a former dean of students and researcher who now co-hosts a podcast and works directly with people in extreme crisis. The conversation focuses on practical advice for overcoming personal ruts and improving relational well-being. Dr. John shares that his father was a homicide detective and hostage negotiator, while his mother earned a PhD later in life, creating a family ethos of helping others in difficult situations. He describes his professional background in college administration and mental health, noting his work includes responding to suicides, traumatic losses, and community crises. The discussion references a JAMA article on decreasing U.S. life expectancy linked to "diseases of despair" like addiction and suicide. Dr. John argues that modern loneliness is physiologically more damaging than smoking and acts as a primary driver for various addictions. A key insight is Dr. John's view that relationships should be treated as a skill to be learned and practiced, not as an innate talent or a pass-fail test. He challenges the cultural idea that a man's worth is tied to achievements or a numerical value, asserting that worth is inherent. Dr. John recounts personally inviting two couples over to explicitly ask them to be his friends, highlighting intentionality in combating loneliness; one male friend, a veteran, cried and said no one had ever asked him that before. He explains the concept of "resistant influentials," his research term for high-achieving professionals who often suffer from poor mental health. Dr. John advises that constant romantic rejection often stems from seeking external validation to fill an internal void, rather than pursuing connection for its own sake. He suggests joining local group activities to build friendship skills without the pressure of a dating outcome. He emphasizes that "there is no external plug for an internal hole." Dr. John advocates creating a small, trusted circle of people who are permitted to give honest feedback, while limiting the influence of outsiders, including social media. He shares a counseling classmate's advice that "you get to decide who hurts you." The tone is conversational, educational, and supportive, blending personal anecdotes with research references. Dr. John's style is direct, empathetic, and occasionally uses humorous self-deprecation. Listeners interested in self-improvement, mental health, and building authentic connections would appreciate this episode. Those seeking quick, tactical dating tips or purely entertainment-focused content might find it less aligned with their expectations.

As heard by us

A blunt, practical conversation for guys who feel stuck and low on motivation.

Tripp Kramer speaks directly to guys who feel stuck, low on motivation, or weighed down by a rut. His conversation with Dr. John keeps coming back to one practical point: build human interaction skills without making the whole exchange depend on the outcome.

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Why you'd press play

Feeling stuck? This one turns a rut and low motivation into a practical next move.

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