How To Get Your Toddler To Sleep In A Big Kid Bed · Certified Sleep Coach Jessica Berk

5 Ways You’re Making Toddler Bedtime Worse + SOLUTIONS

·10 min·1 clip

Jessica Berk reveals why negotiating with a three-foot-tall dictator at bedtime makes things worse.

This episode features sleep coach Jessica Burke offering parents solutions for common toddler bedtime mistakes after the transition to a big kid bed. Burke draws on her seven years of experience as a mom and coach specializing in older children's sleep. She directly addresses parents who feel their bedtime routines have become chaotic or ineffective. The first major topic is giving excessive attention to a child's negative bedtime behavior, which Burke states reinforces that behavior because parental attention is highly valuable to children. She compares it to a child repeatedly kicking a soccer ball to receive cheers and high-fives during the day. Burke explains that a strong emotional reaction from a parent at bedtime, even a negative one, can make a child feel powerful and engaged. The second common mistake is having a bedtime routine that is overly long or complex, turning it into a drawn-out negotiation. She warns against routines that incorporate too many steps or special requests from the child, which can extend bedtime indefinitely. A third error is inconsistency in enforcing bedtime rules, which Burke says confuses children about expectations. The fourth point involves giving in to repeated requests for water, extra hugs, or "one more story" after the official goodnight. The fifth mistake is not setting clear, physical boundaries in the new bed, such as using a bed rail or placing the mattress on the floor for safety. Burke emphasizes that toddlers test limits more when they feel insecure in their new sleeping space. A key insight is that a parent's frustrated reaction to stalling tactics can be as rewarding to a child as positive attention. Burke suggests that parents often unintentionally train their children to employ more bedtime delays by engaging with each request. She notes that a predictable, boring routine is more effective than an exciting, variable one. The concept of the "bedtime power struggle" is central, with Burke framing much unwanted behavior as a child's attempt to gain control and connection. The episode maintains an educational and conversational tone, with Burke using relatable analogies and speaking directly to the listener's experience. Her style is supportive and actionable, focusing on immediate steps parents can implement. This episode is ideal for parents of toddlers struggling with bedtime delays, stalling, or newfound freedom in a big kid bed. Listeners seeking a structured, behavioral approach to sleep training will find it most useful.

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