How To GET THE GIRL - An Ask Women Podcast · Cloud10

Ep. 559 How To Build Real Self-Esteem

·55 min·3 clips

Reynolds says training for performance and health beats chasing “the thong bikini speedo.”

1. Ask Women podcast episode “Ep. 559 How To Build Real Self-Esteem” centers on Matt Reynolds and the way strength training changed his confidence. 2. Kristen Carney hosts from kristenandchill.com, and Matt Reynolds is the founder of Barbell Logic who says he once felt nerdy, skinny, and “painfully average.” 3. The episode asks what lifting weights can do beyond muscle, especially for men who want self-esteem, better posture, and better interactions with women. 4. Reynolds says he grew up as a Baptist preacher’s kid, was homeschooled early, then moved into public school in later elementary years. 5. He describes being very good at math and science, but also “incredibly nervous around women” and stuck in a shell. 6. Reynolds says he was the “skinny 150-pound weakling,” forgettable in high school, and missing a father figure who taught him how to carry himself as a man. 7. He says he discovered weightlifting in his senior year of high school and started with the same basic lifts used in football training: squats and deadlifts. 8. Reynolds says the changes were not only physical because he also noticed a social and emotional shift in how he carried himself. 9. He says hitting puberty late, between ages 15 and 16, and gaining six or seven inches in height amplified the transformation. 10. Reynolds gives the example of the girl he liked in eighth grade, who was two years older, popular, and the homecoming queen. 11. He says she had seen him as a “little brother” or friend-zoned him before she graduated and moved on to college. 12. Reynolds says that after his junior-to-senior-year transformation, he saw her again at an event with his girlfriend from college. 13. He says his old crush noticed the change, asked his brother about his girlfriend, and realized he no longer looked like the same guy. 14. Reynolds says that story matters because visible change can happen over 12 to 18 months, even when the person changing sees it gradually. 15. He compares that to losing 30 to 40 pounds, where other people notice the result before the person notices it day to day. 16. Reynolds argues that strength training should be about performance and health first, with aesthetics and confidence as byproducts rather than the only goal. 17. He contrasts that with “Globo gym” culture, Instagram posing, and a meat-market atmosphere that he says can tear down confidence. 18. The interview stays conversational and practical, with Kristen pushing for concrete advice and Reynolds answering in a direct, often funny style. 19. People who want confidence, lifting basics, and dating-adjacent self-improvement would likely get the most from it. 20. People looking for pure bodybuilding talk or advanced athletic programming may skip it.

As heard by us

A hard edged dating coaching pitch that treats confidence as something concrete and trainable.

The episode is more of a hard edged dating coach pitch than a tidy self esteem talk, circling the same basic concern: how men spend their energy and attention.

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Why you'd press play

You want blunt dating coaching that treats confidence like something you rebuild, not something you wish for.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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