Happy Place · Fearne Cotton

Poorna Bell: "Women want more, not more to do!" How to put yourself first

February 23, 2026·1 hr 4 min·5 clips

Poorna Bell's one-line summary of women's frustration cuts through decades of 'having it all' mythology.

Strength changes the story before anything else. The guest talks about weightlifting as proof that her body can still get stronger with age, even while culture keeps pushing the idea that women are supposed to fade. Fern hears the relief in that. The conversation moves into the pressure women feel to keep becoming more acceptable versions of themselves, especially when institutions are not exactly rushing to hand power back. It feels close to home. Fern frames it as a chat between women in their forties, with friendships that can hold the deeper, messier truths. Then the focus turns to partnership. The guest describes asking women in long relationships whether they had ever taken a proper look at what was working, what was hurting, and what had to change. The hopeful answer is communication, but not the shiny self-help kind. It is the harder, daily willingness for both people to grow as they move from their twenties and thirties into later decades together. Equality sits underneath it all. The guest talks plainly about emotional load: even when a task gets done, being the person who has to assign it can become its own job. Fern gets the sting of that. A woman asking for more may be asking for time, space, freedom, or just enough quiet to think about something besides logistics. The book is woven through the episode, with chapter questions about likability, obedience, silence, and the pressure to become easier for other people. There is tenderness here, not glossy advice. By the end, the hope is that readers feel boosted, calmer, healthier, and more confident about changing what needs changing. Happy Place keeps the mood intimate. This is not about fixing a life overnight. It is about noticing where women have been carrying too much, then letting themselves want differently.

As heard by us

A practical listen on ageing, partnership, and the emotional load of asking for what you need.

This episode takes a steady look at ageing, strength, and the strain many women feel to keep stretching themselves. It treats becoming physically stronger as a useful counterpoint to the usual decline narrative, while also pointing to the pressure to want more, or different…

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Why you'd press play

For when you want more without making yourself smaller.

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