Growth Mindset Psychology: The Science of Self-Improvement · Sam Webster Harris | Growth Mindset Psychology

Life's Infinite Games: How to play by your own rules

January 13, 2026·23 min·1 clip

You're always playing a game in life - the question is which game and by whose rules

Host Sam Webster-Harris explores the philosophical concept that life is composed of various "games," from career to relationships, which we can choose to play by different rules. This solo episode challenges listeners to examine whether they are consciously choosing their life's games or unconsciously following societal expectations. Webster-Harris uses his own LinkedIn profile as a primary case study to dissect these ideas. He describes the common "machine mode" of LinkedIn, where over a billion users follow the explicit rule of showcasing professional achievements to find jobs. A second, "intelligent mode" game on the platform involves users, particularly in B2B and startup circles, posting "humble brag" content to build influence and attract business deals. Webster-Harris confesses his own past profile title was a braggy list of accomplishments like "four times founder" and "investor in 100 companies." He explains his current, revised LinkedIn "About" section begins with the ironic line: "99 percent of time spent on LinkedIn is wasted time but reading this about section is the one percent moment that will change your life." His new profile title now reads "a bad emailer, awkward podcaster, erratic investor and reliable friend," which he finds more authentic. A central framework is borrowed from the book *Gödel, Escher, Bach*, outlining three modes for approaching any life "game": machine, intelligent, and Zen. He applies this to social media, where machine mode is compulsive daily use, intelligent mode is curated, strategic use, and Zen mode is opting out entirely. He applies the same lens to consuming news, arguing the Zen mode is viable since major events like COVID will reach you anyway. A surprising analogy compares human consciousness to a VR game character, where the self feels stationary while the world moves around it, suggesting we are the fixed player in "Grand Theft Life." The most compelling insight is that success is a deeply personal feeling unrelated to societal expectations, and people often seek approval when what they truly desire is independence. Webster-Harris argues that the best thing you can do for yourself is to make others feel good about themselves, as people gravitate toward sources of "warm fuzzy feelings." He provocatively states that you are defined by the daily gap between what you want to do and what you actually do, framing inaction as "little consistent failures." The episode concludes by recommending philosophy books for further study, including *Finite and Infinite Games* by James P. Carse and the more accessible *The Infinite Game* by Simon Sinek. The tone is conversational, introspective, and educational, blending personal anecdote with philosophical theory. Webster-Harris's style is confessional and often humorous, as when he admits reading his old LinkedIn profile made him want to "vomit in my lap." Listeners interested in practical philosophy, self-awareness, and questioning social norms will find this episode deeply stimulating. Those seeking direct, step-by-step self-improvement tactics or put off by abstract, metaphor-heavy discussions might want to skip it.

As heard by us

A brisk reflection on success, independence, and turning life philosophy into small acts of honest motion.

The episode asks a simple question with a sharper edge: what game is a person really playing, and what makes it worth playing? Sam Webster-Harris uses it to circle a grounded idea of success, one less tied to approval, family pressure, social expectation, or a polished LinkedIn…

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Why you'd press play

Want to notice whether your life is being shaped by your own sense of success or by everyone else's expectations?

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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