Steve M - Oct 20 2025 Monday steps wk 3

·46 min·4 clips

At 17 years sober, Steve got a stalker after dating a woman who carried a firearm and threatened him.

Steve M, a member with over 35 years of sobriety, shares his experience working through the Twelve Steps, focusing on relationships and character defects. He recounts a pattern of entering intense romantic relationships quickly to gain validation, only to end them poorly when his true feelings surfaced. A particularly severe consequence occurred around 17 years sober when a brief relationship with a woman who used stimulants resulted in him being stalked and fearing for his safety. This experience, he explains, forced him to confront the difference between being "ready" and being "entirely ready" to have God remove his defects, as described in Step Six. He uses a parable about a boy with a toothache who delays treatment to illustrate his own resistance to asking for spiritual help immediately, fearing it will lead to more work. Steve details how his Fourth Step inventory revealed that underlying needs for approval and fear of emotional demands, not just sexual conduct, drove his harmful patterns. He admits to burning his first written inventory, which complicated later amends, and describes a specific amends he could not make to a girlfriend after ruining her graduation party at Tom Landry's house. The work, he says, taught him to focus on being the right person rather than finding the right person, leading to healthier relationships later in life. He reads from the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, emphasizing how examining personal relations yields deep insight into fundamental flaws. Steve connects his relationship struggles to childhood dynamics, where he learned to see others' emotional needs as a threat. He concludes by sharing that he now applies these principles to his current roles, including caring for his aging father and supporting his adult daughter. The talk is conversational, candid, and reflective, blending personal storytelling with program literature. This episode would deeply resonate with listeners in recovery interested in the long-term application of the steps to relationships and personal growth. Those seeking a structured, topic-focused lecture might find the meandering, personal narrative less engaging.

As heard by us

A steady AA share about sobriety, gratitude, and asking for help.

Steve Mullen's share circles sobriety, gratitude, and the uneven relief that can come with finally feeling at home. He names himself as an alcoholic, says he has been sober since August 12, 1989, and returns again and again to the same turn: what once looked like the worst thing…

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If you need a no-frills AA share with real lived-in gratitude, press play.

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