Free to Be Mindful Podcast | Helping Professional Moms Find Calm in a Busy World · Vanessa De Jesus Guzman, LPC, NCC

Rebuilding Emotional Connections with Your Partner

February 9, 2026·33 min·2 clips

Shayla says even sex can be scheduled, because intention matters more than spontaneity.

1. Free to Be Mindful Podcast focuses on rebuilding emotional connections with a partner through practical relationship habits. 2. Vanessa hosts the episode, and guest Shayla Arias is a first-generation licensed marriage and family therapist in New York and New Jersey who specializes in relational and couples work with BIPOC individuals and couples. 3. The episode asks how couples can bring back “fun and spice and curiosity” without turning the relationship into a judgment exercise. 4. Shayla describes her path from six or seven years as a case manager with immigrant children and youth to marriage and family therapy. 5. She says couples work became a deeper focus after having her son almost four years ago and seeing progress with two couples in particular. 6. Vanessa explains that LMFT training centers on systems, meaning more than one person and the relationships between them. 7. Shayla says that systems thinking includes culture, gender, lived experience, and the “ecosystem” around each client. 8. She connects that framework to being first-generation, being a woman of color, and growing up in New York before moving to New Jersey almost five years ago. 9. Vanessa and Shayla compare child therapy and couples therapy, including how both can reveal different versions of the same family story. 10. Shayla says her couples work relies on curiosity, compassion, and connection as a core mantra in her practice called Compassion Therapy. 11. Her main in-session method is a speaker-listener structure where one partner cannot interrupt for 10–15 minutes. 12. She says the listener takes notes and then paraphrases what was said before asking questions for clarification. 13. Shayla corrects blame language in the room, replacing “you never do this” with more reflective wording. 14. She asks couples to practice the same dialogue outside therapy for at least 15 minutes each week. 15. She says those conversations can cover kids, next month’s plans, or a topic the couple has struggled with for months. 16. Shayla says “rituals of connection” can be a text, a dance in the kitchen, coffee before work, a kiss at bedtime, or gratitude before sleep. 17. She says many couples expect connection to require a vacation or dinner date, but she frames it as “moments” that fit into busy lives. 18. The interview is warm and conversational, with Vanessa reflecting, affirming, and connecting Shayla’s examples to mindfulness language. 19. People navigating long-term relationships, busy parenting, or couples therapy tools would likely find this useful. 20. Listeners looking for abstract theory or dramatic relationship conflict may skip it.

As heard by us

Curiosity over judgment, practical listening, and a calm path back to connection.

Vanessa keeps the focus on curiosity rather than judgment, and that choice gives the episode its shape. She asks listeners to think about one thing they could bring back into a relationship to make it feel fun, spicy, and connected again.

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Why you'd press play

You want one concrete thing to bring back fun, spice, and curiosity without judging the relationship.

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