Florida Divorce Lawyer Podcast | Child Custody, Alimony & Mediation in Florida · Attorney Jonathan Jacobs

Goalposting Causes Divorce

·7 min

The episode begins by framing the podcast as being about relationships and introducing the concept of goalposting. Jonathan Jacobs states he is an opponent of goalposting. He compares goalposting in marriage to goalposting in child care and child rearing. Jacobs provides a legal definition of goalposting, paraphrasing it as setting an original target and then changing it. He explains that as a person reaches the target, it is no longer the endpoint, and new targets keep getting moved further. The episode gives a specific example of goalposting in marriage where a husband marries a wife and expects her to be a certain way. When she meets his targets, such as working part-time and becoming a mom, he then demands additional roles or improvements. Jacobs shifts to the wife's perspective, describing a scenario where a woman marries a 'project of a man' with the belief she can change him after marriage. He notes this is a common refrain, with expectations that the husband will mature, evolve, and fit into a role over time. The example includes marrying a playboy, selfish person, or someone with interests, with the assumption those traits should stop post-marriage. The episode focuses on how these shifting expectations lead to marital conflict. It ties the concept directly to divorce causes without delving into legal procedures. The tone is educational, using relatable scenarios to illustrate the psychological dynamics. Jacobs draws from his experience as a family law attorney to explain relationship breakdowns. The episode does not cover child custody, alimony, or other legal topics mentioned in the show description, concentrating solely on goalposting.

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