F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast · Dain Miller & Niall Spain

My $1200 First Date

·53 min·3 clips

The birthday resort quote jumps to “$650 a night” and then “$1200 a night.”

1. F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast centers this episode on concert setups, sexual pain, and a $500 first-date dispute. 2. Dane Miller and Niall Spann host as the show's advice duo, and they frame listener questions with blunt, comic commentary. 3. The episode asks what counts as creepy, what to do when blowjobs hurt, and when a first date becomes financially unreasonable. 4. A listener says his sister wants him to find a bartender at a concert because she resembles a named singer. 5. The hosts argue that a crowded concert bar is a bad place to initiate contact because the woman is working, the room is loud, and the crowd is packed. 6. They suggest a normal introduction through the sister, or an Instagram exchange, instead of a scavenger hunt in public. 7. The conversation also includes a story about a blind date at a bar where the matched pair had different energy and no obvious shared vibe. 8. The hosts use that example to say that matchmakers should put more thought into compatibility before sending two people together. 9. The sexual-health question concerns a friend with benefit whose penis is very sensitive and whose foreskin sits over the head even when erect. 10. The listener asks whether lube or oil could help with oral sex and hand jobs. 11. One host says that pain across the board suggests a medical issue, not a technique problem, and mentions his own painful puberty experience with skin that would not retract. 12. They raise the possibility of a tight foreskin, an infection, or hygiene problems if the skin cannot retract cleanly. 13. They also say the couple should ask what specifically hurts, because “it hurts” is too vague for anyone to diagnose. 14. The hosts suggest a doctor, an anonymous sexual-health line, or a webcam consult instead of guessing. 15. The first-date story begins with Instagram DMs, a cousin connection, and a woman who lived in Arizona but planned a trip to Los Angeles. 16. The narrator spends $400 on Lakers tickets, adds a $100 dinner bill, and later worries about a birthday resort that costs $650 a night or “$1200 a night.” 17. The hosts call the relationship a “speed run” because the couple moves from flirting to FaceTimes, “miss you, babe,” and an exclusivity demand within days. 18. They read the woman’s reaction as a major signal, since she says she wants someone independent while also expecting him to pay for the getaway. 19. The tone stays conversational, explicit, and argumentative, with long back-and-forths rather than a formal advice format. 20. Listeners who like blunt sex-and-dating advice will get the most from it, while people who dislike explicit talk or money debates may skip it.

As heard by us

A filthy, funny look at what happens when expense and expectation collide.

This episode is blunt about sex, money, and the resentment that can grow when a date starts to feel like a bill with feelings attached. It gets its best laughs from that mismatch, especially when the talk circles back to Uber Black SUVs, social posturing, and the small…

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Why you'd press play

You want blunt dating advice about spending big on someone who may not be on the same page.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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