Q&A with Pastor Ben and Estelle - “What’s a healthy way to argue?”

·48 min·4 clips

Pastor Ben reveals he moved to Louisiana at 21 to check out a young woman his mom told him about at church.

Host Pastor Dominic introduces Pastor Ben and Estelle for a Q&A session focused on relationships and marriage within a Christian context. Ben and Estelle recount how they met when Ben was 21 and moved from Natchez, Mississippi to Louisiana, initially checking out Estelle at her church. Estelle shares she became a believer at 17 and was focused on spiritual growth, not relationships, when Ben arrived. Their connection deepened on a mission trip to Honduras, where Ben set aside caramel candies for her. They dated for nine months, were engaged for six months, and married in December 2003. When asked about keys to a lasting marriage, they emphasize keeping Christ at the center and being actively involved in a local church community. They address a question about fearing ending up with someone like a hurtful father figure, advising to focus on personal spiritual growth and being attracted to Christ-like character. Ben and Estelle discuss not dating someone spiritually immature, with Ben sharing he told Estelle early on he was dating to pursue marriage. On communication struggles, they note differences in spending habits, with Ben as a spender and Estelle as a saver, leading to their first argument about budgeting after their honeymoon. For healthy arguing, they stress recognizing spiritual battles, praying, and being quick to apologize, illustrated by Ben's story of reconciling after hearing a Need to Breathe song lyric. They touch on love languages, with Estelle valuing physical touch and quality time, and share Bible-approved date ideas like staying in well-lit places and family game nights. The episode includes audience questions, such as how to know when to marry, with Estelle explaining she evaluated Ben's heart and direction, and Ben recalling his mom's practical questions. They conclude by encouraging students against purposeless dating, trusting God's timing, and pursuing Christ first.

As heard by us

A marriage Q&A turns spender-saver tension into a grounded reminder that spouses should stay on the same side.

Pastor Ben and Estelle frame healthy arguing around one plain marital conviction: a spouse is not the enemy. That idea gives the conversation its footing, especially when they talk about a familiar money tension, with Ben casting himself as the spender and Estelle as the saver…

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Need a faith-shaped way to remember that your spouse is not the enemy during a money argument?

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