Election Profit Makers · Jon Kimball & David Rees

Episode 374: Biblically Accurate Vice Presidents

March 31, 2026·57 min·4 clips

Vice President J.D. Vance claims UFOs are demons to win over young men and evangelicals.

1. Election Profit Makers, hosted by David and John, covers Trump's ongoing Iran conflict, J.D. Vance's UFO theology, a FEMA official's teleportation claims, and March Madness in its penultimate spring episode before a summer hiatus. 2. The hosts are David (based in Los Angeles) and John (in a different time zone), two long-running co-hosts who deliver comedic political commentary in a casual conversational format. 3. The episode's core thesis is that the Trump administration is populated by officials whose public statements—about demons, teleportation, and war aims—have become difficult to distinguish from parody. 4. Trump described Iran's decision to allow ten boats through the Strait of Hormuz as a 'great gift,' then appeared to walk back his earlier condition that the war would not end until Iran ceded full control of the strait. 5. David notes Trump's approval rating has hit 33%, the lowest of his second term, and gas prices are at their highest since 2022, making the Iran conflict his most politically costly ongoing vulnerability. 6. The war has cost an estimated $50 billion, and Senate Republicans are reportedly considering budget cuts to healthcare to fund it, according to sources the hosts reference. 7. David calls the conflict 'the vaguest war we've had in a while,' contrasting it with Vietnam, where the anti-communism rationale at least had internal logic, while the Iran war operates on what he calls 'vibes' and 'emotional' decision-making. 8. J.D. Vance told commentator Benny Johnson on a podcast that he believes UFOs are demons, not extraterrestrial beings, saying he 'naturally goes to the Christian understanding' when encountering 'extra natural phenomenon.' 9. David argues the demon claim is a calculated political strategy: Vance cannot openly oppose Trump's Iran war, so he is attempting to build a coalition of evangelical Christians and UFO-interested young men simultaneously. 10. David contrasts Vance's alleged cynicism with RFK Jr., whom he describes as 'a true believer in all the shit he believes in,' and challenges Vance to 'name four UFOs' if he is genuinely obsessed. 11. Peter Thiel is mentioned as giving lectures in Italy about the Antichrist, which David uses to explain why Vance chose 'demons' rather than 'angels' as his preferred UFO interpretation—the darker framing suits Thiel's aesthetic. 12. Greg Phillips, Trump's appointee to lead FEMA's Office of Response and Recovery, claimed on a January 2025 podcast that his car was lifted and transported 40 miles into a ditch near a Waffle House. 13. In a second incident on the same podcast episode, Phillips said he was teleported 50 miles to a Waffle House in Rome, Georgia, quoting himself as telling his companions, 'I ended up at a Waffle House like 50 miles away from where I was.' 14. Phillips said 'teleporting is no fun' and 'you just go with the ride,' prompting David to call this 'bullshit' and suggest the more parsimonious explanation is that Phillips was driving drunk. 15. David references X-Men character Nightcrawler, whose teleportation power was accompanied by the sound effect 'BAMF' and was physically exhausting, as a comparison point for Phillips's account. 16. UNC fired basketball coach Hubert Davis after he declined a buyout offer to resign, ending a 74-year stretch in which the university had not conducted a real coaching search; Billy Donovan of the Chicago Bulls and Arizona's Tommy Lloyd are named as candidates. 17. David had Duke winning the tournament but Duke blew a 19-point lead, mirroring UNC's own 19-point collapse earlier in the season, which David calls 'symbolic of something.' 18. The episode is fast-paced and conversational, with David doing most of the analysis while John reacts, asks clarifying questions, and occasionally adds one-liners; there is no formal interview structure. 19. Listeners interested in absurdist political commentary, March Madness bracket discussion, and supernatural tangents will find the episode engaging. 20. Listeners expecting policy depth, sourced reporting, or a linear news summary will likely be frustrated by the episode's digressive format.

As heard by us

A messy, funny political hangout that keeps turning excuses inside out.

Election Profit Makers starts with a bit of housekeeping about a coming hiatus after next week's final spring episode, then settles into a funny argument about the excuses people reach for when a drunk-driving story is plainly what it looks like.

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You want politics, profanity, and a hard stare at a very weird excuse.

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