Due Parenting Podcast · Due Parenting Podcast

Season Finale! The First Daughter/ Son Episode: Pressures, Black Tax etc

·1 hr 48 min·5 clips

Linda says the harder pressure was not money but “I have to raise human beings.”

1. Due Parenting Podcast centers on firstborn pressure, parentification, and the cost of being the “good child.” 2. Brian Suleiman and Linda Ijofo Suleiman host the episode, and their son Kion Iman Suleiman briefly appears as the family context for the discussion. 3. The episode asks what happens when a child’s personality is built around earning parents’ approval and managing younger siblings. 4. Linda reads a Reddit post from a 23-year-old firstborn woman who says she felt she had to “earn my parents’ love” and became the “example child.” 5. Linda explains that in Igbo culture, “Ada” means the first daughter, and she says she can relate as a firstborn daughter. 6. Brian says his mother gave him responsibility for his younger brother and expected him to stop trouble before it happened. 7. Linda says she felt she had “no life” because much of her behavior was aimed at making her parents proud. 8. Brian says his mother’s expectations shaped him into an adult who can manage responsibility and family demands. 9. Linda says that as a first daughter she was expected to take care of her sister and avoid any behavior the younger children might copy. 10. Brian says his family used a restaurant as training, with children washing plates, cooking, and learning where money came from. 11. Brian says his mother handed him her pay slip at age 9 or 10 and made him help budget the household income. 12. That budgeting routine taught him to prioritize needs over wants and to avoid debt whenever possible. 13. Brian says he still carries an internal rule that if something is not essential, he should not spend on it. 14. Linda challenges him on whether those habits are trauma or “foundational character building,” and he says the line between them is difficult. 15. Brian says selflessness is part of firstborn identity because “everybody else comes before you” as long as you are healthy and not starving. 16. Linda says she now puts Kion’s needs first and is less open to being manipulated into helping everyone else. 17. The conversation becomes more reflective than argumentative, with both hosts comparing childhood duties, adult restraint, and family expectations. 18. The tone stays conversational and intimate, with laughter, teasing, and repeated interruptions from the family members in the room. 19. Listeners interested in firstborn roles, African family expectations, and parenting pressure will get the most from this. 20. Listeners wanting a tightly structured interview or light entertainment may skip this one.

As heard by us

A warm, uneven conversation about gendered expectations, family duty, and the pressure on firstborn children to keep everyone else first.

The episode starts light, then settles into an honest talk about gendered expectations, how men speak to one another, and the pressure firstborn children can feel to give up too much for their siblings.

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Why you'd press play

Hear a candid family talk that starts playful and gets very real about gender roles, firstborn pressure, and boundaries.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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