Drunk-ish - A Sobriety Podcast · Stefanie Wilder-Taylor

Best Of: Tamara Mello Bonus - Talking Bipolar

·36 min·2 clips

Tamara heard a voice say, "go ahead no one will ever know," while staring at a bottle of tequila.

1. Drunk-ish: A Sobriety Podcast uses this bonus episode to revisit bipolar disorder and alcoholism with Tamara Mello. 2. Tamara Mello is the guest, and the host joins her as a sobriety conversation partner because the discussion continues from a prior episode. 3. The episode asks what bipolar diagnosis changes when alcohol has already become a way to quiet symptoms. 4. Tamara says diagnosis brought relief, but not a cure, because doctors still had to experiment with different medications. 5. She says she kept drinking for about 10 years after diagnosis because her mood stayed disordered and her brain felt unregulated. 6. Tamara describes Risperdal as an older antipsychotic that dulled color, made her slow, and made her oddly anxious about being alone. 7. She explains that doctors eventually told her to take medication only when she felt manic, which turned treatment into a constant balancing act. 8. Tamara says her ramp-up to mania feels like rage and "a flock of birds" beating their wings to get out. 9. She says alcohol helped her quiet the noise in her head, and she missed that effect more than social drinking or getting wasted. 10. A THC gummy seemed to work for three weeks, then triggered the longest manic episode she had ever had. 11. Tamara says she now knows THC can trigger mania, and she calls that a warning for people with bipolar predisposition. 12. She describes a mixed episode as mania and depression at the same time and says it is when people with bipolar disorder are most likely to take their lives. 13. Tamara recalls being in the kitchen, seeing a bottle of tequila, and hearing "go ahead no one will ever know" in her head. 14. She says that moment made self-medication feel real in a way that previous explanations never had. 15. Tamara says Lamictal changed her life by removing the constant tightrope feeling and giving her calm and clarity. 16. She connects that improvement to the idea that earlier access to the right medication might have reduced a lot of self-medicating. 17. The tone is confessional, practical, and conversational, with Tamara moving between personal stories and medication details. 18. The format is a loose interview with back-and-forth questions, interruptions, and side conversations about Zoloft, Xanax, Vyvanse, Adderall, and pain pills. 19. People interested in bipolar disorder, sobriety, and medication tradeoffs will get the most out of this episode. 20. People looking for a tightly edited, topic-specific clinical discussion may skip it.

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