Drama - Old Time Audio · Various Authors

The Adventures of Maisie - Don't Be Stupid, Write Cupid

·28 min·1 clip

Maisie follows Cupid’s advice and orders Eddie to be “rough, tough, hard-boiled,” then throws him into the umbrella stand.

1. The Adventures of Maisie centers on Maisie Revere from Brooklyn taking over the “Don’t Be Stupid, Ask Cupid” advice column. 2. Ann Southern voices Maisie, and Mr. Crunch hires her because Mary Jane is taking another vacation and the paper wants “the woman’s touch.” 3. The episode asks what happens when Maisie’s advice-column answers collide with her own relationship with Eddie Jordan. 4. Maisie negotiates her pay with Mr. Crunch, turning a job interview into a back-and-forth over money, papers, and a written agreement. 5. At Mrs. Kennedy’s rooming house, Eddie complains about fighting with Maisie and says he feels bad about her paying his way on dates. 6. Mrs. Kennedy suggests Eddie write to the “Don’t Be Stupid, Ask Cupid” column, and Eddie signs his letter as “Handsome.” 7. Maisie answers letters about a lying boyfriend, proper arm placement while walking, and a man upset that his girlfriend is not paying attention to him. 8. One letter asks whether a girl should keep dating a man who lies, and Maisie’s reply is that there “isn’t any other kind.” 9. Another letter from “Handsome” describes a girl who pays the check and “is breaking my spirit,” which leads Maisie to call the girl “a turkey.” 10. Maisie’s first advice to “Handsome” is to act like a “rough, tough, hard-boiled type” and “kick her around a little.” 11. Eddie then tries that advice on Maisie, and she answers with a judo throw that sends him into the umbrella stand. 12. The scene makes the column’s advice concrete, because Eddie literally tests the line, “show her you’re the boss.” 13. Later, Mr. Crunch confronts Maisie about two letters she answered from “chapped lips” and “worried.” 14. Maisie explains her response to “chapped lips” with the line, “Come to work in the afternoon,” and Mr. Crunch calls it “pretty cute.” 15. Mr. Crunch also asks about the “sophisticated” letter, and Maisie says the boy should “pretend to get sick” so the older girl will nurse him. 16. Mr. Crunch admits that tactic might work “with a younger woman, too,” which leads into another round of sparring over the column. 17. The episode keeps a fast, pun-heavy comedy rhythm with insults like “second-class stinker” and “temporary filling.” 18. Dialogue carries the whole format, with Maisie, Eddie, Mr. Crunch, and Mrs. Kennedy trading wisecracks in kitchen, office, and rooming-house scenes. 19. Fans of old-time radio comedy and sharp relationship banter will likely enjoy this episode. 20. Listeners wanting slow drama or serious romance advice may skip it.

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