Doing Well: The Wellbeing Science Insights Podcast · Life Management Science Labs

Theresa Pong: The Continuum of Love – Balancing Self-Love and Love for Others | Doing Well #71

·54 min

1. Doing Well: The Wellbeing Science Insights Podcast uses Theresa Pong’s conversation on the continuum of love to connect self-love with love for others. 2. Lu Mo hosts Theresa Pong, the founder and counseling director at The Relationship Room in Singapore, and Theresa’s counseling background shapes the episode’s relationship focus. 3. The episode asks how people can balance self-love with love for others without burning out or damaging relationships. 4. Theresa says her path began in a traditional family that equated success with a degree, a good job, and a good family. 5. She describes getting a job in a large corporation in Singapore, then entering “toxic and not healthy” relationships that led to depression in her mid-20s. 6. A friend introduced her to counseling, and Theresa says a seven-year journey of therapy helped her recover, build self-love, and make positive connections. 7. By the end of that seven-year process, Theresa met her then-boyfriend, who later became her husband and encouraged her to turn counseling into her career. 8. Theresa defines well-being through four dimensions: biological, psychological, social, and spiritual, summarized by her as “v p s s.” 9. She says the biological dimension includes food and exercise, while the psychological dimension includes mental and emotional health, stress management, and positive self-talk. 10. She adds that the social dimension covers support, connection, and asking for help, while the spiritual dimension concerns purpose, meaning, and identity. 11. When asked about misconceptions, Theresa says many clients treat well-being as an end state instead of a process that changes with life’s transitions. 12. She links the continuum of love to attachment theory and cites John Bowlby’s idea that childhood caregiver relationships shape later mental models of connection. 13. Theresa describes secure attachment as the goal, but says trauma, negative childhood experiences, and adult experiences often place people somewhere between secure and insecure attachment. 14. She explains insecure attachment as including avoidance and anxiety, and she says these patterns can show up in romantic relationships, friendships, family life, and work. 15. For self-love, Theresa uses the image of a fuel tank and says people cannot run “on empty” if they want confidence and emotional self-regulation. 16. She also links self-love to oxytocin, social bonding, reduced stress, and the ability to find meaning through community and individual life. 17. Theresa’s style is personal and practical, moving from theory to a detailed story about refusing a friend’s late visit after a draining workday. 18. The conversation stays warm and reflective, with Lu Mo sharing her own examples of apologising to a friend and learning to say no. 19. People interested in attachment theory, counseling, and relationship boundaries would likely get the most from this episode. 20. People looking for light entertainment or a short celebrity-style chat probably would not.

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