Doing Well: The Wellbeing Science Insights Podcast · Life Management Science Labs

Dr. Bella DePaulo: Autonomy and Well-being — Thriving in the Single Lifestyle | Doing Well #78

·1 hr·3 clips

In 18 long-term studies, marriage produced only a brief honeymoon effect before happiness returned to baseline.

1. Doing Well #78 focuses on autonomy, well-being, and singlehood on Doing Well: The Wellbeing Science Insights Podcast. 2. Lu Mo hosts the episode from Narm, Melbourne, and Bella DePaulo, PhD, joins as the guest because of her work on singlehood. 3. The episode asks what well-being looks like for people who want to stay single and live that choice openly. 4. Lu Mo says family pressure and the idea that single people are “broken” make the topic personal and urgent. 5. DePaulo says she never wanted to get married and only realized in her 30s that she was “never going to want that.” 6. She describes “single at heart” people as those who love being single, want to stay single, and flourish because of it. 7. DePaulo says many people write to her saying they love solitude, friends, interests, and passions, yet still ask if something is wrong with them. 8. She uses Keturah Kendrick’s book No Thanks, Black Female and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone as an example of unapologetic single-life writing. 9. Lu Mo and DePaulo discuss The Bear, which DePaulo praises for showing passion for work, friendship, and a story that does not build toward romance. 10. DePaulo names Spinsterhood Reimagined with Lucy Megason in London as a podcast that gets single-at-heart experience right. 11. She points to Keitaki Chokani, an Indian social scientist, and Craig Nguyen as people building singlehood studies through a global conference, a scholarly book, and plans for a journal. 12. DePaulo says well-being is not only happiness but also meaning, purpose, mental health, and the ability to do as well as can be expected during illness. 13. She cites 18 big studies by 2012 showing that people who marry may get a short-lived happiness boost around the wedding, then return to prior levels. 14. She adds that people heading toward divorce can become less happy before the wedding day. 15. DePaulo says the idea that marriage is the route to greater happiness and health is not supported on average by the studies she cites. 16. She tells a personal story about moving from the University of Virginia to the University of California, Santa Barbara in 2000 and staying because singlehood made the move possible. 17. DePaulo says single people generally stay in touch with friends, family, colleagues, and neighbors more often than married people. 18. She also says couples often become more insular after moving in together or marrying, which can reduce contact with other relationships. 19. The conversation is warm, personal, and interview-based, with Lu Mo sharing family examples and DePaulo grounding her answers in studies and lived experience. 20. People curious about singlehood, autonomy, and social science would likely enjoy this episode, while listeners seeking relationship advice may skip it.

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