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Dear Sugars · WBUR

Repost: Sex & Aging

March 21, 2026·37 min·3 clips
Cheryl Strayed discovered a trove of letters from people in their 50s, 60s, and 70s asking about sex, a topic our culture neuters.
The inbox sets the terms. The co-hosts open with letters from older listeners about sex, longing, and the way culture quietly edits desire out of anyone past fifty. They push back on that without dressing it up too much: bodies stay bodies for a whole life, and erotic imagination does not shut off just because public images stop making room for it. Then one letter changes the room. The writer loves his partner fiercely. She is his best friend and critic, and the bond still matters more than almost anything. But their physical life has become tangled in age, libido, pain, and shame. Penetration used to give them deep pleasure and a kind of spiritual connection. Now it feels uncertain, loaded, maybe out of reach. Other kinds of sex are still possible. Oral sex is welcome and enjoyed. Even so, the writer admits that losing penetration feels like a real loss, not something either of them can simply rename into comfort. The shame lands on both sides. When he tries to initiate, she seems to feel more inadequate. When desire is not returned, he feels unattractive and confused. Nobody sounds cruel here, which is part of what makes it hurt. These are two people who love each other and still cannot find easy words for what their bodies now need. Aging becomes territory without a map. The letter names declining libido and postmenopausal change, but the pain is not only physical. He would rather have a sexless relationship with her than lose her, and that does not make the question lighter. He fears losing the relationship. He also fears staying in one where reciprocal desire may not come back in the same form.

As heard by us

A frank look at sex after 50, where desire, shame, and fear of loss stay intertwined.

Dear Sugars treats sex after 50 as a serious emotional subject rather than a punchline or a fading afterthought. It draws on listener letters from people in their 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond, and keeps circling one plain idea: bodies age, but desire and erotic life do not simply…

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Why you'd press play

You want an unembarrassed conversation about sex after 50.

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