Dear Albie, The Horrors of Dating with Rory Uphold

·1 hr 8 min·5 clips

Albie breaks his 7-year no-guest rule to meet Rory Uphold, author of a dating horror guide.

Albie Manzo introduces the episode by noting this is the first time in Dear Albie's 7-8 year history that he has had a guest on the show. The guest is Rory Uphold, author of 'A Final Girl's Guide to the Horrors of Dating'. Albie explains he was intrigued by the book's puns and themes, particularly the concept of 'Dick Sand'. Rory describes her book as using horror movie metaphors to explore dating, inspired by the language people use to describe love and heartbreak. She shares her background as an 'accidental dating anthropologist' who ghostwrote dating profiles and hosted a love podcast. Albie and Rory discuss the idea of being an 'expert' in dating advice, with Rory arguing that giving good advice is a skill separate from marital status. Rory explains the book's structure, comparing it to a horror movie with three acts, and defines 'Dick Sand' as anything that keeps you stuck in dating, like textual relationships or chronic breakups. Albie shares a personal story about a trainer who refused to continue sessions because Albie was working out for revenge after a breakup, teaching him about self-worth. Rory relates this to 'inner demons' and the stories we tell ourselves after heartbreak. They discuss how past relationships affect current ones, with Rory sharing an example of dating a narcissist then struggling to trust a nice guy. A listener question asks about a 7-year relationship where the spark is gone, and Rory advises that if all options are exhausted, it may be time to leave. The conversation turns to broader societal trends, including the rise of single men over 30 who say they will never marry or have kids, which Rory links to economic instability and shifting gender roles. The episode ends with Rory promoting her book and sharing her social media handles.

As heard by us

A candid episode about surviving a damaging relationship and the unfinished work of healing.

Dating sits on the surface of this Dear Albie episode, but the stronger thread is the aftermath of pushing through pain before it has really been processed.

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Why you'd press play

Press play when a relationship story with real scars sounds more useful than polished advice.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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