New Life LIVE - New Life LIVE: March 26, 2026

March 26, 2026·48 min·4 clips

Jane couldn't forgive herself for three abortions until she understood her father's abuse and neglect.

This episode of New Life Live features hosts Brian Perez, Dr. Jim Burns, and clinical psychologist Dr. Alice Benton answering listener calls about forgiveness, family estrangement, and anxiety. Dr. Benton opens by discussing the concept of "unfair forgiveness" through the story of a woman named Jane who struggled with self-condemnation over past sexual activity and three abortions. Jane's childhood involved maternal abandonment and a father who called her "wicked" and exposed her to pornography and alcohol. The hosts explore how developing compassion for one's younger self can be a pathway to self-forgiveness and healing from "thousand-pound stories." Caller Deborah from Philadelphia asks whether biblical forgiveness applies only to fellow believers or to everyone, sharing her own history of loss, including her father's death and sister's accidental death, and her struggles with self-forgiveness for two abortions and alcoholism. Dr. Benton connects Deborah's story to Jane's, emphasizing the need for self-compassion stemming from a traumatic childhood. Dr. Burns assures Deborah of God's unconditional love, referencing Jesus's words to the woman caught in adultery. Denise from Bismarck calls about her estranged 35-year-old daughter, who cut off contact after calling Denise a "bad mom." Denise reveals she was seven months pregnant when her brother died by suicide, which affected her emotional availability. The hosts advise against defensiveness, suggest the book *Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child* by Tina Gilbertson, and recommend therapeutic mediation. Sarah, a 60-year-old nurse in Sacramento, describes career challenges due to ADHD and performance anxiety, including being fired and previously kicked out of nursing school. The hosts praise her perseverance, suggest she may have underlying PTSD, and recommend the ministry's "Freedom from Fear and Anxiety" webinar. Yvette from Fontana seeks guidance on supporting her pregnant 22-year-old cousin who left her home to live with a boyfriend, with Dr. Burns advising consistent, non-judgmental presence. Esther in Los Angeles expresses sadness over not yet having children a year into marriage, questioning if using fertility treatments like IVF is biblically acceptable. A surprising insight is that forgiveness for "perpetrators," like neglectful parents, is framed as an "unfair" but necessary step for personal freedom from bitterness. The hosts validate that while consequences for past actions are real, self-condemnation can be more paralyzing than divine judgment. The episode reveals that estranged adult children may initiate tentative reconnection through small gestures, like sharing a baby's photo, which should be met with patience rather than pressure. For professional anxiety, the discussion normalizes combining faith, therapy, and medication, with specific supplements like L-theanine mentioned. The tone is pastoral, educational, and conversational, blending psychological concepts with Christian scripture and personal anecdotes. Listeners seeking practical, faith-based advice on overcoming guilt, repairing family relationships, or managing mental health challenges would appreciate this episode. Those uncomfortable with Christian theology or preferring secular psychology might find it less applicable.

As heard by us

Pastoral counseling that treats shame and estrangement as wounds, not talking points.

New Life Live approaches shame and old hurt with a steady, pastoral hand. Brian Perez, Jim Burns, and Alice Benton move from Jane's regret about her younger life to the harder work of helping a parent reconnect with an adult child, and the conversation feels grounded rather than…

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Why you'd press play

You want faith-based support for shame, family rupture, and the stories people keep buried.

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