Citizens of the World: A Stoic Podcast for Curious Travelers · Communication & Mindset Coach Sarah Mikutel

How to Stop (Negative) Self-Comparison and Increase Your Confidence

·21 min·1 clip

Self-determination theory says negative comparison blocks competence, relatedness, and autonomy.

1. Citizens of the World: A Stoic Podcast for Curious Travelers uses Sarah Megatel's beginner's improv class to examine negative self-comparison and confidence. 2. Sarah Megatel is the host, and her own experience in England matters because she uses the class as the episode's main example. 3. The episode asks how comparison can move from self-criticism to growth, motivation, and more realistic self-assessment. 4. Sarah says improv is improvisational theater created spontaneously without scripts, and she describes it as a comfort-zone exercise. 5. She recalls her heart racing on the train to class and compares the feeling to public speaking and a final exam she forgot to study for. 6. In a class of 14 people, she notices some classmates who seem fearless, loud, and naturally funny. 7. She says many exercises involved one-word prompts like "banana," plus singing, strange noises, odd movement, and exaggerated character work. 8. Sarah introduces objective comparisons such as grades, certifications, income, and possessions, then contrasts them with subjective comparisons like attractiveness, talent, happiness, and success. 9. She explains upward comparison as measuring yourself against people you perceive as better off or more skilled, and downward comparison as measuring against people with less. 10. She says upward comparison can trigger jealousy, inadequacy, and self-doubt, and she links that to dropping out of things before they start. 11. Sarah says negative comparison blocks competence, relatedness, and autonomy, the three needs in self-determination theory. 12. She describes competence as wanting to feel good at something, relatedness as wanting to feel supported, and autonomy as wanting control over how you respond. 13. She says improv helped her stop comparing herself to classmates and instead focus on showing up, participating, and honoring perseverance and bravery. 14. Sarah quotes her teacher's advice that "when we are overthinking, we're not listening," and says she started connecting more with scene partners. 15. She says classmates told her they liked her "more conversational" improv style, which surprised her and changed how she saw her own ability. 16. Sarah brings in the pratfall effect, saying people can seem more likable when they mess up, as long as they are generally competent. 17. She references Cameron Diaz's karaoke scene in My Best Friend's Wedding to illustrate how vulnerability and perseverance can make someone seem warmer and more relatable. 18. The episode is structured as a solo teaching monologue with personal anecdotes, framework-driven explanations, and direct advice to the listener. 19. Listeners interested in Stoicism, confidence, and self-improvement. 20. Listeners wanting a tight interview or a heavy narrative story.

As heard by us

A calm, practical reset for listeners drawn to stoicism, personal development, and a steadier view of comparison.

Sarah Megatel keeps a beginner improv class grounded in nerves, comparison, and the awkward work of building confidence in public. The episode starts with racing-heart tension on the train and then moves into intrinsic motivation and self-determination theory, with autonomy,…

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Why you'd press play

If comparison is making you shrink, this gives you a steadier way to respond.

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