CHEW THE FAT with Lee Hagger · The Lee Hagger

S11:EP20 pt1 - The POLICE FAILED A Woman With Dementia / Our Super Fan Outs Us For Fixing Our Competition / UK Eurovision Entry

March 11, 2026·1 hr 15 min·6 clips

Robert Sly, chair of Maldon Carnival Committee, faked his own DBS background check company to give parents a clearance letter signed by himself.

1. CHEW THE FAT host Lee Hagger records the Season 11 finale with co-host Steve Parsons, returning guest Bradley Whitehead, and super fan Ben at the regular studio. 2. Lee Hagger is the founder and host of CHEW THE FAT, a long-running British podcast on its 11th season; Steve Parsons is co-host and invented the show's group sign-off jingle; Bradley Whitehead is a returning guest described by another panellist as new to the show as a listener; Ben is a self-described super fan appearing for the second time. 3. The episode frames itself as a season finale celebration with more content than two episodes can hold, including a custom bespoke quiz, PODopoly, and competition. 4. Lee opens with a story about encountering an elderly woman, estimated late 70s to early 80s, who had locked herself out and was showing signs of dementia, including believing a five-year-old was inside the house. 5. Lee called 999 and was initially told a police car would attend; ten minutes later a different officer called back, cancelled the call-out citing the 'right person, right time' threshold, told him the fire brigade could not attend for three to four hours as no life was under immediate threat, then ended the call. 6. The panel attributes the failure to respond to systemic underfunding of emergency services rather than individual misconduct, with Steve Parsons noting the officer was likely handling a higher-priority call. 7. Lee reveals that the woman was eventually found to have got back inside through a connection — a friend whose neighbour is best friends with the dementia patient's daughter — but does not know how she re-entered. 8. Lee's second story concerns Robert Sly, a primary school acquaintance from roughly 30 years ago, who was convicted of child sexual abuse offences after running as chair of the Maldon Carnival Committee. 9. Sly fabricated a fake DBS background check website and directed parents who asked about his credentials to it, receiving clearance letters routed back to his own email address. 10. Police found 31 devices at Sly's address containing approximately 75,000 images and videos; around 1,100 were sexually explicit images of children he had contact with through the carnival, and roughly 30-plus involved him directly; he was sentenced to 12 years. 11. The panel debates whether 12 years is an adequate sentence, with Lee and others suggesting it is insufficient given the scale and the calculated deception involved. 12. The conversation about Sly leads to a brief discussion of an unnamed individual connected to Championship Extreme Wrestling (CXW) and the podcast who had also been exposed for similar offences; his ex-wife continued attending events after the disclosure. 13. Susanna Wallace is announced as the winner of the running 'Open the Safe' competition, having correctly guessed the number 772 after previous guesses of 468, 989, and 777. 14. Wallace has already used her prize money to adopt a Romanian rescue Dachshund named Frankie via the same charity the Haggers used, with funds covering licences, passport, and injections. 15. Super fan Ben produces a printed A3 Excel spreadsheet as evidence that Lee's hints directed him toward the 772 area and argues he deserves 50% of the prize; Lee maintains the numbers read out were simply the ones selected, not a direct pointer. 16. Steve Parsons raises a grievance that Bradley Whitehead used the show's signature 'Chow bella' goodbye sign-off during a previous episode, which belongs to Parsons as co-host; Lee had planned to stage a confrontation and backed down. 17. The episode contains an advert for Championship Extreme Wrestling (CXW), pitched as a family night out featuring British professional wrestlers, and available at cxwrestling.com. 18. The tone is celebratory and irreverent, with the serious stories about the dementia incident and the paedophile conviction handled directly but without excessive gravity, and the competitive banter over the quiz and competition dominating the second half. 19. Fans of the show and listeners interested in true-crime adjacent local news stories, or in the reality of police resource constraints for vulnerable adults, will find the opening 30 minutes most engaging. 20. Listeners who prefer focused single-topic episodes will find the format — which switches rapidly between serious news items, competition disputes, and in-jokes — harder to follow.

As heard by us

A fan call-out, a borrowed sign-off, and a late quiz keep the banter moving.

Lee Hagger's panel turns minor grievances into a running joke: a listener call-out about Bradley borrowing the Chowbella goodbye, a back-and-forth over who was really fuming, and a late admission about missing International Women's Day until the next day.

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Why you'd press play

For when you want a fan call-out, a borrowed sign-off, and a late quiz detour all in one.

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