Charisma Quotient: Build Confidence, Make Connections and Find Love

Navigating Modern World To Find Love: Interview with Allison Raskin

·34 min·3 clips

Kim Seltzer announces a first-ever hybrid virtual speed dating event for the holidays, promising handpicked singles and key first impression tips.

The episode begins with host Kim Seltzer promoting a special hybrid virtual speed dating event for December 11th, aimed at helping singles improve first impressions and meet handpicked matches. She then introduces the topic of modern dating, contrasting it with past courtship rituals and highlighting challenges like dating apps, situationships, and paradox of choice. Kim shares a client story about a high-achieving woman in her 40s who learned to date with fun and intention, leading to marriage. Guest Allison Raskin is introduced as a New York Times bestselling author, mental health advocate, and comedian with a master's in psychology. Allison explains her background, including her YouTube channel 'Just Between Us', her work at BuzzFeed, and how a broken engagement in 2020 prompted her to investigate modern marriage. She discusses her struggles with dating and mental health, emphasizing the importance of self-work and medication for her OCD. The conversation covers themes from Allison's book, such as the history of marriage, financial planning in partnerships, and the role of couples therapy as a preventive tool. Allison highlights findings from interviews with experts and real couples, noting that shared values are more crucial than shared interests, using her parents' 45-year marriage as an example. She also talks about reframing divorce as an experience rather than a failure, focusing on marriage quality over length. Kim and Allison explore generational differences in marriage views, the importance of communication and compromise, and how daters can use Allison's book to clarify their relationship goals. The episode concludes with Allison encouraging listeners to own their desire for marriage if it aligns with their lifestyle, and Kim promoting her coaching services and Allison's book.

As heard by us

Allison connects dating anxiety with the slower practice of tolerating uncertainty and taking rejection less personally.

Kim Seltzer's conversation with Allison frames modern dating as a test of how people handle uncertainty. Allison traces a clear line from childhood OCD, a return to medication in her late 20s, and the harder work of liking herself enough to stop treating rejection as evidence…

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Why you'd press play

You get a candid dating map for the moments when rejection, medication, anxiety, and uneven commitment speeds make the route feel harder to read.

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