How to Talk Divorce With Kids

·29 min·2 clips

A parent asks how to tell their three small kids about an amicable separation without causing more harm.

["The episode begins with the hosts introducing themselves and their children, followed by a segment called 'Triumphs and Fails' where they share personal parenting stories.", "Zach shares a triumph about his son Ami, who struggled with school drop-offs but is now thriving, attributing it to teacher support and peer pressure.", "Lucy humorously frames Ami's transformation as a liberation akin to a young woman traveling to Europe.", "Elizabeth recounts a fail about taking her three sons shoe shopping at DSW, describing it as a 'circle of hell' due to sensory issues and logistical chaos.", "Lucy shares a fail about her high expectations for a Friday family night that fell apart because everyone was tired, leading to a family agreement to avoid scheduling on Fridays.", "The main segment addresses a listener question from the Slate Parenting Facebook Group about telling kids aged 2, 4, and 7 about an impending separation.", "The listener notes the separation is amicable, with the primary caregiver staying in the marital home and a co-parenting schedule in place.", "Zach, who is a child of divorce, reassures the listener that asking these questions is a good start and emphasizes that the conversation will be ongoing, not a one-time event.", "He advises avoiding confusing kids about the nature of the relationship and ensuring they know the divorce is not their fault.", "Elizabeth compares the situation to telling children about a parent's military deployment, stressing the need to address practical details and be prepared to answer questions over time.", "She suggests talking to each child individually with both parents and creating an open environment for questions.", "Lucy adds an anecdote about a friend whose dad excited him about divorce with bunk beds, highlighting the importance of concrete details.", "The hosts discuss the long-term goal of ensuring children feel loved and shielded from conflict, with Zach noting the metric is kids growing up without doubting parental love.", "Listener suggestions from the Facebook Group are shared, including book recommendations like 'Puppy Dogs and Ice Cream' books and 'The Invisible String'.", "The episode concludes with an emotional update from a listener whose husband Jamie died of cancer, originally featured in an earlier episode about co-parenting during terminal illness.", "The update describes Jamie's love for running and how he tracked his cancer through his runs, passing away on his 44th birthday.", "The hosts express gratitude for the update and condolences, highlighting how the original letter helped others.", "The show ends with reminders for listeners to submit questions via email, voicemail, or the Facebook Group.", "Throughout, the tone is conversational and supportive, blending personal anecdotes with actionable advice.", "The episode balances lighthearted moments from the 'Triumphs and Fails' segment with serious discussions on divorce and grief."]

As heard by us

A practical, messy conversation about telling younger kids that a separation is coming.

Care and Feeding takes on a hard, ordinary parenting problem: how to tell younger kids that a separation is coming and home life is changing. Lucy Lopez, Zach Rosen, and Elizabeth Newkamp handle it in the show’s familiar blend of parenting triumphs and fails, keeping the…

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Why you'd press play

When you need guidance for telling younger kids about separation and big changes.

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