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Tawny Lara: Get Sober Curious

·42 min·2 clips

Alcohol can hinder genital response, cause vaginal dryness, and lead to erectile dysfunction.

Caitlin Schiller and Ben Schumann-Soler begin with a light check-in before turning to a topic that has been on Caitlin's mind. They introduce Tani Lara as an expert in sober dating. Lara is a writer and speaker who talks about alcohol-free sex and dating, and the conversation centers on her book Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze. The hosts note that her writing has appeared in Playboy, Men's Health, and Huffington Post, and that she has two essay collections. Caitlin says the subject feels newly visible to her in her own dating life. Lara says many people want a way to meet, connect, and stay present without leaning on alcohol. The discussion keeps coming back to concrete situations. Lara recommends date ideas that involve movement and an outside focus, like museums, botanical gardens, and zoos. She explains that walking can ease jitters. She also points out that shared attention on art, trees, or animals can take pressure off the date itself. Instead of sitting across from each other and forcing interview-style small talk, people can talk about what they are seeing. That shift can make the exchange feel less stiff. Lara also shares how she thinks about the words people use when they need to explain why they are not drinking. She says it helps to understand your own relationship with alcohol first. The conversation touches on the idea of dating yourself before trying to date someone else. That framing gives the boundary-setting work a steadier base. The hosts keep coming back to the practical value of those ideas. The episode treats sober curiosity as something lived, not performed. It is interested in how to make a first date feel less loaded, not in turning sobriety into a slogan. The result is a calm, useful conversation about desire, comfort, and clear communication. It stays rooted in the ordinary details of dating. It also leaves room for the harder emotional work underneath those details. The episode does not rush that part. Instead, it lets the listener sit with the idea that knowing why you are drinking less can change how you show up with other people. By the end, the conversation feels less like advice from a distance and more like a careful companion for anyone trying to date with more honesty and less pressure.

As heard by us

A sober-dating conversation that is practical, warm, and steady.

The episode treats sober dating as an ordinary social problem, not a special case. It stays with the basics: what to do when a drink would normally be the default, how to make a first meet-up feel less like a job interview, and how alcohol-free dating and sex can still feel…

Read the full review in PlayNext →

Why you'd press play

Want sober-date ideas that feel like a real plan, not a quiz?

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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