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Katherine Morgan Schafler: Perfectionism is a Gift

·36 min·2 clips

Research shows maladaptive perfectionists can become more unhappy after they get what they wanted.

1. Blinkist Podcast's Simplify episode on Katherine Morgan Schafler centers on perfectionism as a human trait rather than a simple flaw. 2. Caitlin Schiller interviews psychotherapist, writer, and former onsite therapist at Google Katherine Morgan Schafler about her 2023 book, The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control. 3. The episode asks what perfectionism is for and whether it can function as a strength instead of only a burden. 4. Schafler says she noticed perfectionism across Google in New York, a rehab in Brooklyn, Wall Street private practice, and residential treatment in Los Angeles. 5. She says those settings included neglected and abused children who became wards of the state, as well as high-functioning adults. 6. Schafler says the research on perfectionism is still in its 'infancy' and that current models miss how widely it appears. 7. She defines perfectionism as a 'unique cognitive capacity' to see present reality and imagine a new or worse version. 8. She says perfectionists feel a compulsion to bridge the gap between reality and an imagined better state. 9. Schafler argues that perfectionists are not simply trying to make the weather, their appearance, or their day 'perfect.' 10. She says they are usually reaching for 'wholeness,' not flawlessness. 11. Schafler links disappointment to moments when people get the promotion, the proposal, or the house they wanted and still feel fragmented. 12. She says those reactions are often private and invisible in high-functioning people. 13. Schafler lays out five types of perfectionists: classic, procrastinator, messy, intense, and Parisian. 14. She describes classic perfectionists as reliable people who also default to 'if you want something done well, do it yourself.' 15. She describes procrastinator perfectionists as people who need the conditions to feel perfect before they begin. 16. She describes messy perfectionists as 'start happy' people who love beginning but struggle when the middle gets tedious. 17. Schafler says intense perfectionists focus on the end result and can neglect their own wellbeing and other people's wellbeing. 18. She says Parisian perfectionists seek 'ideal connection' and can become obsessive about perfectly loving themselves. 19. The interview style is direct and practical, with Caitlin asking for usable distinctions and Schafler answering in framework-driven language. 20. People interested in psychology, work habits, and self-critique will likely get the most from it; listeners wanting a light entertainment episode may skip it.

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