Beauty in Battle Podcast · Jason Benham, Tori Benham

Five Approaches To Conflict

August 13, 2024·27 min·2 clips

Jason Benham reveals how Satan tricks couples into fighting each other instead of fighting together against him.

This episode of the Beauty in Battle podcast outlines five constructive approaches to handling marital conflict. Hosts Jason and Tori Benham, authors and speakers on Christian marriage, frame conflict as a spiritual battle against Satan rather than between spouses. They introduce five research-backed strategies, all beginning with the letter 'C', adapted from workplace conflict management for marital relationships. The first approach is Competing, which involves standing firm on a critical principle or boundary. Collaborating is the second method, requiring both spouses to work together to find a mutually satisfying solution. Compromising serves as a third tactic, where each partner gives up something to reach a middle-ground agreement. Accommodating is the fourth approach, which means willingly yielding to the other person's preferences. Avoiding constitutes the fifth strategy, intentionally choosing to delay or sidestep a confrontation. The hosts emphasize that all five approaches are valid and useful in different scenarios. They stress the importance of discerning the appropriate context for each method rather than relying on a single habitual response. A key insight is that conflict itself is not the enemy but a misdirected fight against one's spouse is. The Benhams argue that couples should fight "shoulder to shoulder" against external spiritual forces rather than "face to face." They note that people often default to one or two familiar conflict styles without recognizing the full range of options. The framework provides a practical vocabulary for couples to intentionally select their response. Tori shares that learning these approaches earlier in their marriage would have been beneficial to break automatic patterns. Jason mentions discovering these strategies while researching for faith-based entrepreneurs. The tone is conversational, instructional, and openly faith-based, with the hosts sharing from personal experience. The style is encouraging and practical, blending relationship advice with spiritual warfare concepts. Listeners seeking faith-based marriage advice with actionable conflict resolution tools would appreciate this episode. Those uncomfortable with Christian spiritual framing or preferring secular psychology might find it less applicable.

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