Attaching to God: Neuroscience-informed Spiritual Formation · Geoff and Cyd Holsclaw

124 Healing Love & Sacred Attachments: Between Trauma and Transformation (with Michael John Cusick)

·41 min·3 clips

I've been a Christian 14 years, but I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

This episode features Jeff H. interviewing Michael John Cusick, a licensed counselor and founder of Restoring the Soul, about spiritual exhaustion and healing. Cusick discusses his new book, "Sacred Attachments," which addresses the painful gap between religious belief and personal experience. He shares his background growing up in an alcoholic, abusive home and his later diagnosis on the autism spectrum, which he connects to a hyper-developed empathy. Cusick introduces the concept of "Delta," using the Greek letter to symbolize the distance between one's spiritual ideals and lived reality. He recounts his own 14-year struggle with sexual addiction and alcoholism while maintaining a Christian leadership facade, admitting he had never consciously felt God's love during that time. The conversation identifies common causes for this faith gap, including personal trauma, spiritual abuse from controlling religious environments, and emotional neglect. Cusick explains his decision to avoid the buzzword "deconstruction," framing his work instead as a guide for "reconstruction" on a foundation of secure attachment. A key insight is that the path to healing begins with truth-telling, not just about scriptural truth but about one's own painful story. Cusick emphasizes that paying attention to the embodied self—sensations, emotions, and thoughts—is the first act of love and the doorway to transformation. He argues authentic spirituality must be embodied, citing Bessel van der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score" to underscore how trauma lodges in the body. The discussion challenges the common prayer for better obedience, suggesting the better prayer is, "God, make me whole." Cusick describes a pivotal moment when his contemplative prayer practice felt dry and he feared losing his faith, only to sense God saying, "What would be so bad about that?" This led him to a profound realization that God's hold on him was unshakeable, regardless of his activity. He concludes by sharing the personal, embodied practices that anchor him: the tattoos "be still" and "be loved" on his forearms, which serve as daily reminders of his core mantra. The tone is a vulnerable, conversational dialogue between two practitioners deeply invested in integrating psychology and faith. It is educational, drawing on personal stories, clinical experience, and theological reflection. Listeners experiencing spiritual burnout, doubt, or the aftermath of religious trauma will find validation and a hopeful framework. Those seeking strictly doctrinal teaching or quick self-help fixes may find the psychological and embodied focus less appealing.

As heard by us

A grounded look at trauma, church hurt, and faith under strain.

Michael John Cusick and Jeff Holzclaw spend the episode on a hard, familiar fault line: belief stays, but lived experience can feel impossible to hold.

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Why you'd press play

For when trauma and faith feel too far apart to hold together.

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